I am writing on this series after a really long time. I am sorry guys that I have been very busy lately.
So tonight I will talk about a pretty important topic. Majority of the cultures and societies around the world teach us “not to be” confrontational. But there is a fine line between speaking our mind and at the same time not sounding rude. Once you master that, your personal and professional life can become a bliss.
I have always been an introvert and like most introverts I have been misjudged and bullied. At certain point during my teenage years, I felt like I have had enough. I started coming out of my shell and pretty much started flipping people’s mind with my straight forwardness. The “once introvert (miss-understood as shy) little girl” started saying things like it is. Teenage years are the time of character building. By that time I figured out that I am a dignified emotional being and if someone has said or done something to me which I didn’t like, I must speak up right when it is happening, not after the event had taken place. Because if I don’t, I will keep thinking about it the whole day subconsciously which would create an unnecessary bad vibe in my mental environment. We always make a choice between our own mental peace and people’s acceptance. I am a go-getter and for me my mental harmony is of absolute importance. I put my mental peace on a pedestal. If my mind is not in peace, it gets in my way of getting things done.
But throughout my personal experience I learned, “it is not what you say but how you say that makes the difference.” I am not saying you always have to put a fake smile on your face and be passive aggressive about your feelings. But sometimes a sense of humor is necessary. The same thing- when I said it with a serious face was taken differently as opposed to when I laughed and made a joke about it. It is all in the vibe and the way we articulate it. Vibration/energy or personal aura is a very debated topic but comprises a big part of our non-verbal communication. When your boss smiles at you asking to do something with a “pretty please”- he/she is giving you an order in a polite manner- and you do understand it very well. It is important to observe and read people’s intention. Good intention is all that matters even when people are making you upset.
Guarding the tongue while listening to others first- is an important step as once what comes out of our mouth cannot be taken back. We must be thoughtful and empathetic to others. But at the same time, it is important to precisely articulate our opinion without being arrogant and move forward with life without breeding any grudges. I learned through experience that you cannot make everyone happy. Some people will dislike you anyway for whatever reason. Do not hide your disagreements and let it build until one fine day it reaches to the point of blowing things up. Speak up your mind politely when it is time to do so and never regret it. People who are your well wishers will stand by you even when you agree to disagree with them.