The Power Of Visualization In Achieving Life Goals

I am one of the most effective people I know in my life. And that statement is not self-promotion. I pretty much achieve anything I put my mind (and heart) into.

I get asked all the time by my friends, family, peers, and even online how I study, manage my time or how do I focus on my goals, etc.

And  I have written a lot of things on my personal blog and Quora about Law Of Attraction, Mindfulness, Task Management techniques like making to-do-lists, etc all of which are excellent advice to make yourself on track to reach your goals.

Plus, you might as well have your very own technique. Besides, some people don’t like structure or a frame, they prefer flexibility and spontaneity. 

Some also talk about positive self-talk. There is nothing wrong with that. I am sure it might work for some people as well.

Every morning when you can wake-up, start your day by looking in the mirror and say things like, “I am great. Today is a great day and I will be successful, etc.” (Sorry I am not trying to sound cliche).

Except, there is something wrong with thinking about success and failure before realizing your goals. It creates polarity in your mind. Because you have defined what success means to you, you are stressing yourself, even more, trying to chase it, and therefore you never attempt it or follow through till the end because of the fear of failure and rejection.

So instead of all the popular common strategies (I mentioned above), we should initially “realize” the goal.

And the first step of that realization is “visualization” and trying to grasp or sense the final product or destination.

Do you wish to work in a certain position and at a certain company? Imagine yourself already doing that in your mind.

Do you wish to date someone, picture yourself with that person, and think how happy you would be with him/her?

Do you want to buy a home or start a business? Or go to a certain college for a certain major, or earn certain credentials? Picture yourself every day, all day long with such accomplishments while you take your next steps towards that dream.

And make that imagination as detailed as possible, i.e gather more data, learn more or research about the situation, person, position, environment, object, etc and so on. Study it, and think you are part of it and you are already acing it. Climb it, conquer it. And until you do it, don’t stop.

Anytime you cannot realize what outcome you are looking for you should take a pause and rethink to fix that first.

For example, I get asked this question all the time, even on Quora, how long one should study each day to prepare for an exam? Somehow 8-10 hours seems like an ideal number for many.

And I always tell people that studying for 8-10 hours is not the goal here. It is a step that is part of the process. The real goal here is to “show” mastery or prowess in a certain subject or topics in an exam which should lead to high scores. So no matter what you do as a technique, you should verify whether you are reaching the level of proficiency that you can prove in an exam in a given set of time or deadline. So practice, take mock tests, understand the topic well, do whatever you need to do, just do. The number of hours does not matter. It could be 5-6 hours a day instead of 8-10 if one is highly focused on studies without any distraction.

And I can go on and on with many other real-life examples. Visualizing the end goals helps you become more intuitive throughout the process of accomplishing them. You can navigate, make an adjustment, and optimize your process based on the outcome you are expecting.

The majority of the time after I am done picturing clearly what I want to do, I literally observe myself working and sailing towards it.

This is a combined process of Law Of Attraction (LOA) and mindfulness. When you decide what you need to do, you are already orienting yourself towards that.

Now, in the next parts, I will elaborate on how or what else I do to get something done. I will publish the next parts on my Patreon page.

So stay tuned.

Introducing My Patreon Page

“Ponkti” (পঙক্তি) is not my last name, it is actually my nickname. I just kept it as my last for various personal reasons and one of them is to show that I am a Bengali for those who can recognize.
Just like any proud Bengali parents, my dad nicknamed me Ponkti when I was born, which simply means “lines or quotes of poems”. Bengali people are into literature and poetry. Most of them love giving their children some poetic fancy names.
Fast forward, all these years I became quite the opposite of a poet-an an electrical and electronics engineer. Even in my leisure, I live and breathe everything related to technology and startups, and frequently love to talk about Jungian Cognitive Functions.
I am active on QuoraMedium, and my own personal WordPress blog.
My personal blog is where I write casually about whatever I want without any strings attached. I have been blogging since 2014. I have also been picked as Quora’s one of the top writers in 2018 (for God knows why), and even in real life, I have always been praised for my thoughts, writing, and speech.
Engineers (can and) do write well as well. I do my little part to break that stereotype each day.
I have decided to add a Patreon page for exclusively curated content for my paying viewers.
On a weekly basis, I plan to provide poetic words, short stories, personal opinions, video clips, and even more which might help you uplift yourself a little bit, or push you to think differently about a topic.
I encourage you to be my Patreon and even ask me for types of writings/content you wish to see here.
I can also become audacious once in a while to share some Bengali posts with my Bengali followers. I write on Bengali Quora too but note that my English is better than my Bengali.
I am very busy in real life, but I will try my level best to keep your Patreon experience with me as special as possible.
Thanks a lot for reading.
Just for $10 a month now you get access to posts that won’t be posted here.

Be a Patron today (follow the link below):

https://www.patreon.com/tasniaponkti

The Thought of The Night- “Revenge Is Self-Consuming”


The Thought of The Night- “Revenge Is Self-Consuming”

12:51 am (EST)

10/29/2020

It is past my usual bedtime.

It’s been really long since I have written something on this “thought of the night” series on my WordPress blog. The last time I had written something like this blog post was back in 2017. It goes to show that I lack consistency in my hobbies.

Hobbies are for relaxation and unwinding ourselves in leisure, but still, a bit of consistency goes a long way I think.

But, anyway…

Today I will talk about how I felt vengeful at certain times in the past, but life kept happening and I kept moving forward instead. And I am so glad that I did (move forward).

Yes in the grand scheme of things moving forward and trying to live better or do better is the best thing you can do.

I know, I know- this sounds cliche and I have heard this typical suggestion from friends and family whenever I was in some deep sh*t and needed some uplifting.

Today I am not trying to write some of those age-old cliche lectures on how karma is a b*tch and time heals everything. What goes around, comes around… Blah blah!

Karma is true, though, and time heals most things (well it puts certain painful memories in some locked compartments in our mind) but not everything.

But for me not trying to get even with the people who either tried to harm me or got in my way to achieve something, was not about karma. Neither were they about my feelings. Although my wounds are still there, being the pragmatic person I am, I always let my head lead me at the end.

I did the mental math and played different scenarios in my head, and in most cases, it just seemed counterproductive to get back at people who were against me. The amount of energy one needs to take to plan revenge, can be used to transcend that situation by moving forward quickly and effectively. Besides, one needs to look back and live in the past to take revenge, whereas I like my future potential more.

So revenge is self-consuming. Also, because it has the potential to add more uncertainties and more risks to already existing miseries.

Yes, there are however severe situations in life where getting back at enemies with effective steps is important. Seeking justice for oneself and others is oftentimes a moral duty.

Otherwise, the daily narcissists, sociopaths, passive aggressors, bullies, parasitic leeches, soul-sucking vultures should be avoided and ignored at all costs.

A new job comes after a job loss, and good health (sometimes) comes after bad ones, good fortune comes after the financial crisis, a good relationship mends a broken heart. And even if people die, they just die, full stop. Perhaps there is a new beginning after death as well.

None of these are the end of anything. Perhaps destroying or ending enemies is not necessarily the goal of taking revenge.

The best revenge is when you make the negative people in your life gradually irrelevant like they don’t matter- neither to you nor to society.

The first step of that is, effectively seeking justice (if it is possible) and doing better things than what has been damaged. And the second is to remove these individuals from your life. Sometimes some of these people are your closed ones. It is irresponsible to remove them or ignore them completely from your life. But at least keep a respectable distance and even if you are giving them any entry back into your life, don’t be the same as you were before. Make them realize that what you have been through and as a result your current equation with them is the updated version from past mistakes.

People who harm you, don’t harm them back, but you should openly and genuinely talk about your experience so others know what you are going through. Sometimes this is not possible, at least immediately, because narcissistic sociopaths are very big about their reputations. But eventually, other people need to learn about them, words should be spread out so that, more people don’t become victims of such aggressors

Anyway, that’s it for today…

Hopefully, I will bring a new topic for another day.

Good night!


Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

I have introduced the basic framework before, which I am about to refer to – in this blog post. So if you have not read it, check this post first:

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types


Hopefully, I will write this type of posts for all types eventually. But because I am an INTJ personality type myself, I thought it is better to start with INTJ.

So without any further ado, here it is-

INTJ’s Cognitive Functions:

Ni>Te>Fi>Se

When it is interpreted in terms of our 4 point model it becomes:

Autonomy(Ni)<Mastery(Te)<Impact(Fi)<Recognition(Se)

INTJ

Now, this order is not the same for everyone, which means that some might reach mastery before autonomy, or recognition before impact etc.

But the main idea of this model is, one of these 4 points is the most important to you according to your primary or talent function and the second or auxiliary function is the key to success because it is a growth function.

Usually, 1st and 2nd functions make about 90% of your personality and you reach your full potential when you develop your third and fourth function.

INTJs are forward-thinking, insightful, visionary, original, big picture driven and independent due to their first Ni aka perspective function. So naturally, they should seek careers which enable them to exercise their autonomous traits. Usually, people work up the ladder to reach autonomy in their careers. But INTJs are well-equipped with this trait! So listen up fellow INTJs, we gotta learn how to take calculative risks and turn our out-of-the-box ideas into reality. In fact, we should actually make them happen, which brings us to the next part.

INTJ’s second function is Te aka effectiveness. An ideal INTJ with a fully developed and exercised Te function knows how to get sh*t done and builds a track record of accomplishing great things. A lot of INTJs, due to being introverted, struggle with making their ideas into reality. So INTJs should gain mastery of bringing ideas into reality in the most effective way possible. That mastery may or may not be about a certain skill but rather should be about whatever needs to be done to accomplish a goal. INTJs are prone to learn and do everything on their own, which is great. I believe in that approach since I want to lead by example and I should know how to do certain things myself so that I can gain insight into the big picture and hence can lead better. But we have to remember that we should do things which makes an impact in a larger way and for that as INTJs we have to learn to inspire and guide others better. Speaking of making an impact, brings us to our next point.

Yes, INTJs are the jack-of-all-trades. They can get anything done, whatever they put their minds and hearts into. But it is also important that they do things which are valuable to them according to their own authentic (Fi) standards. Because that will help bring quality in a product or service. For example, this blog post is intended to help other INTJs maximize their career potentials but I have also written it because I am a Jungian Cognitive Function Enthusiast. As an engineering professional, I do things keeping the end goal or product in mind but that product or goal is also authentic to me. INTJs are better equipped to positively impact humanity by making a quality product or service. And the best part is when the lone wolf INTJ learns how to work with others or lead a team to make big things happen.

The last one is recognition. Some might define Te as recognition in terms of achievements but I am referring to the finer materialistic things in life here. INTJs are among the least sensory people due to their inferior Se function but they do have fine taste in things which bring sensory gratifications. Ni/Fi function influences that aspect too. But INTJs rightfully deserve the name, fame, money, property etc after all the hard work they put. But INTJs should be careful not to overindulge or become ruthless in seeking materialistic means only.


Thanks for reading…

I hope you enjoyed.

I will try to write a similar type of posts for other types in the near future. Stay tuned.


Read:

Of, By, For The INTJ: A self-help quick reference guide for INTJ personality type via Jungian Cognitive Functions – Kindle edition by Tasnia Ponkti. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com

There is a part two:

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

Hello everyone! Today we are going to discuss how any MBTI type “should” set his/her career goals.

You perhaps have heard about Dan Pink’s Three Pillars of Performance:

Where he talks about these key terms in motivating people:

Autonomy.

Mastery.

 Purpose.

Sure! That sounds like a good plan for motivating employees for higher performance, but let me re-purpose this plan for setting a career goal. And that plan includes-

Autonomy.

Mastery.

Impact.

Recognition.

Each one of us might prioritize these 4 points in a different order. But the intention is to eventually (if not simultaneously) reach all these aspects in our careers.

Jungian Cognitive function order for all types:

Primary (talent)> Secondary (growth) > Tertiary >Inferior

Now, you have to take these  four main functions of each personality type and somehow use them to fit into the 4 point model. How you do it, it is entirely up to you. This is how I envision the model, where the intuitive functions lead to autonomy, thinking functions lead to mastery, feelings to (positive) impact and sensing to recognition:

Ni (Perspective) and Ne (Exploration) —> Autonomy

Ti (Accuracy) and Te (Effectiveness) —> Mastery

Fi (Authenticity) and Fe (Harmony) —> Impact

Si (Memory) and Se (Sensation) —>Recognition

*Perspective (Ni) generates insightful vision and exploration of ideas (Ne) leads to innovation. Thus, if you are capable of seeing the future and innovate new ways- you are capable to lead. That’s why, a leader is independent or autonomous.

*Accuracy (Ti) is important for critical analysis of theory and data. Effectiveness (Te) is important for process efficiency. If you can do anything with accuracy and efficiency, you have reached the mastery level.

*Authenticity (Fi) is pivotal in bringing quality and setting standard guidelines. Harmony (Fe) is vital for the greater goods of the people and societies. If you can add value to yourselves or others through high quality product or service, or if you can bring harmony, compassion and kindness in others lives then you are positively making an impact.

*Memory (Si) helps categorizing and sensation (Se) helps experiencing life through real data at the present moments. So you gain good reputations by keeping a track record of great professional achievements. You also experience life through materialistic means such as money, property and good health etc.


For better understanding of each function, watch this video:


Bookmark this article as I am going to use this model to write personal life goal plans for each MBTI types.

Edit:

The first part is already out:

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type


Also read:

eBook: Of, By, For The INTJ

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

An INTJ’s Perspective: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 1)

Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

Contemplation- INTJ Mind

Advertisement

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

INTJ COMMUNICATION HACK

What’up everyone! This is that long promised article. Today I am going to give a communication hack for us INTJs in our own robotic way. Yes! We systematize everything. While other MBTI types laugh at us, why don’t we automate ourselves through the difficult process of dealing with fellow humans on a daily basis?

So without any further ado, let’s get started-

There are two basic sections of this diagram.

  1. How to perceive.
  2. How to judge.

 

  1. Perceive the world (Ni<–>Se): The dominant introverted intuition (Ni) aka perspective function takes so much of INTJs’ brain power that they forget to live in the moment because of their inferior Extroverted sensing (Se) function aka sensation. But you cannot completely unleash the potential of Ni without the help of Se. Being mindful is very important but challenging for INTJs.

Best case scenario is when you have mastered the technique of Ni and Se simultaneously in a closed feedback loop.

What is Ni?

Copying from one of my own Quora post-

“Ni is the insightful vision. Ni gives you an initial hunch and later it reveals itself by connecting the dots between different things. It is like putting the puzzle pieces together in a big picture frame.”

For INTJs Se collects data from the present reality and feeds it back to Ni. And in return, Ni finds meaningful connections between the data and tells you what to specifically watch out for to find the patterns and trends among things.

2. Taking effective action based on the perception (Fi<–>Te):

“The motto is to say or do things which are useful”.

So once INTJs get positive signal from their perceiving functions they should express themselves using their personal values and judgement (Introverted Feeling – Fi aka authenticity function).

But the catch is -that they should fake it as Extroverted Feeling (Fe) to sound more harmonious. This is actually the life saving part of this communication hack.

INTJs are known for being blunt and direct.They are not people pleaser by nature. But at least sounding polite and humble can help INTJs build and retain meaningful relationships in life. The trick is to put your best intentions forward.

And when INTJs do have to take action they will only do things which are effective for them and others, using their Extroverted Thinking (Te) aka effectiveness functions. Developing this growth/auxiliary function can help INTJs become really successful in the long run. Te is the key of achievements for them.

3. Lastly, if INTJs get bad data from their perceiving functions then majority of the petty problems -such as rude comments, stupidity, ignorance, passive aggressiveness can be ignored or be tackled with positive sarcasm.

Now if there are negative circumstances which you (as an INTJ) MUST tackle, please DO NOT react at the spur of the moment. Instead use the combination of your Ni and Te functions to take measurable actions. This part is not covered in the diagram because INTJs are by nature strategists. They should use their strategy to be diplomatic when required. They just have to take human emotions into consideration for effective conflict resolution.


If you are not familiar with the Jungian Cognitive Functions mentioned here then read my Quora post:

What is each MBTI cognitive function good for?

Or checkout my video :

 


Next read:

eBook: Of, By, For The INTJ

Read part two:

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

Read other related posts:

An INTJ’s Perspective: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 1)

Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

Contemplation- INTJ Mind

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types


 

Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

* This is my personal blog and the views expressed here are purely subjective. I hope to write on this topic in several parts to shed light on how I am “strategically” using Jungian concepts in my personal development with a unique creative approach. My personal findings, opinion, and insights might help others who are on the same journey with me.

I have described in the first part that despite being a skeptic, I am using Jung’s Cognitive Functions as a temporary tool in my personal development. And I also went in depth about my own personality type and the confusion of myself being miss-typed as some other type. In later parts, I will describe my own personal model. But today I would like to address a few aspects which usually are in question.

We know that many psychologists debunk or refuse MBTI types. They question the validity or the credentials of MBTI tests because Myers and Briggs (mom and daughter duo) did not have any professional psychology background. They designed the tests based on Carl Jung’s Cognitive Functions Theory (who himself never tested it). They came up with a questionnaire which is too “leading”. I do agree with the flaws of those typical questions.

That’s why psychologists prefer some other type testing like the Big Five Personality tests which are too vague IMHO. In that regard, whether the whole “psychology” major is science or pseudoscience-that is even a bigger question. Sorry psychologists!

I am more into neuroscience than psychology.  Hence, I am more prone to investigate the validity of Cognitive Functions Theory than the MBTI tests.

But Dario Nardi is working on some meaningful research on cognitive functions. You can go to this forum and click those “spoiler” buttons to find his research findings:

https://patents.google.com/patent/US20150079578A1/en

Thread: Dario Nardi’s Neuroscience of Personality

An even better overview is in this forum:

Dario Nardi’s Neuroscience (of the Cognitive Functions)

Or watch this video:

And now you make up your mind. Is it science or pseudoscience?


This is that long-promised article that I have been talking about:

*Important and useful for all INTJs:

https://tasniaponkti.com/2018/10/15/introducing-ebook-for-intj/

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

An important topic for INTJs to shed light on

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

An INTJ’s Perspective: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 1)

Just an FYI: Part two of my eBook series has been published

TL;DR (you can just read the highlighted text, also make sure to scroll all the way at the bottom to read other posts and find our INTJ related sponsored products).

Or you can jump right into part 2 below if you came here to understand the acknowledgement part from my eBook:

Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

* This is my personal blog and the views expressed here are purely subjective. I hope to write on this topic in several parts to shed lights on how I am “strategically” using Jungian concepts in my personal development with an unique creative approach. My personal findings, opinion and insights might help others who are in the same journey with me. It is gonna be long. So brace yourself.*

In my opinion, any kind of type or categorization theory is not made to forcefully condition ourselves to behave according to our types but to identify our strengths to overcome our weaknesses.

This part will address my personal experience of being an INTJ and the confusion of being labeled as other type besides INTJ. I see many people having the same issue. So I hope this will erase some confusion for many. In later parts I will discuss my own personal development techniques.

I had always tested as an INTJ. Even before I was introduced with MBTI personality types I always knew in my head that I am different and I do not quite blend in the crowd even when I am trying very hard. And I feel less authentic and more artificial when I try to be like someone else. Being different as an INTJ means more than just being introverted and seemingly detached.

The first time I was introduced with Jungian Cognitive Functions and MBTI in a psychology class during my engineering undergrad. I am very much into engineering but since I love art, history, theater and psychology- I took these classes to fulfill my general education requirements. And I had a lot of fun learning about human psychology and behavior. I took the official typology test as well as many other personality type tests and I tested as an INTJ all the time. I did not put much thought about it during that time except for the fact that I found the result more insightful about myself. There are other types of personality tests but I find Jungian types more useful because of the use of cognitive functions.

function

PowerPoint Presentation

car-model

More recently my brother who is an ENFP, brought this topic to my attention. He described in his own opinionated way that, while zodiac signs are complete bullshit and they mostly serve to some vague confirmation biases about one’s self, MBTI types go a bit into depth on how each person “might” function on a regular basis.

The reason why I didn’t invest too much time into MBTI results during my psychology class, because (forget about zodiac signs) I am a skeptic even about type theories. I use different theories as an initial tool, when I am done digging deeper with my analysis, I go ahead and build my own opinion and theory about things (whether positive or negative). Then I try to use the good part strategically in my personal life. It is almost like I am using the best resources, equipment or tools available (even though I am not completely satisfied with it) to solve a current problem and later I can use my experience to make something on my own-kind of like how I usually do my professional job. And I don’t know if it is a coincidence that I am an INTJ-A type Capricorn female although I denounce both astrological and psychological concepts to a certain extent. The usual stereotypes found common for Capricorn and INTJ are- strategic, hardworking, ambitious and insightful. Or may be I consciously chose myself to be that way predominately.

Bottom line is, end of the day none of them help you predict a person’s intention but they might at least give you a hope to classify people into different categories to learn about their behavioral patterns. Yes, hope is a big word. But a lot of things affect our actions and behavior such as current good or bad situations, physical and mental health, life circumstances, past experiences, influences of close people, environment, personal and traditional values etc.

So recently I started taking a second look at type theories but  now I am going in depth primarily on Jungian major 8 type of cognitive functions based on which MBTI types and questionnaires are made. Each personality type has 4 major cognitive functions according to that theory. I read it somewhere that our cognitive functions do not fully develop up until our mid-30’s. So when we are young and have not gathered enough life experiences (or perhaps have been through life changing experiences), it is fairly possible that we are in reality one type but test as another type. So my take on that is to study the cognitive functions of all types to identify our natural preferences and then we should very honestly take the test even if we do not like the answers.

It is my opinion that, unless we consciously choose to stick with one type, it is possible to develop our other unused cognitive functions. What I mean by that, is we all have all 8 cognitive functions: 4 of which, by the typology theory we use predominantly and we also use our shadow functions in time of stress and excitement. That means we act like our opposite personalities in rare occasions. But with careful self-development approach, I think, we can in fact develop our “unused” cognitive functions. However,  the best practice is to stick with one type to avoid inconsistency and to embrace ourselves as one type and then work on our weaker functions to strengthen our talent functions.

For example, sometimes I find myself behaving like an ENTP when I am very excitedly exploring ideas and discussing an interesting topic. And it turns out that ENTP is my opposite personality type i,e ENTP’s 4 cognitive functions are my shadow functions-which also tells me that I am, in fact, correctly typed as an INTJ who occasionally uses shadow functions. Sometimes I am perceived as an ENTJ when I am super active- which is known as my sister type (or mirror type). And sometimes I feel like I should be  more like an INFJ and out of the many tests I had taken I once tried very hard to be more of a feeler than a thinker just to see what happens if we are not honest in out test taking process. It turned out that I barely made it as an INFJ with a 49% T and 51% F ratio on the T-F spectrum! And because I have some INTP colleagues and I admire their attention to detail (and just like they admire my big picture thinking process), I sometimes think being an INTP wouldn’t be bad either. Many INTPs want to become INTJs because INTJs are typically perceived more as an insightful go-getter while INTPs are analytical intellectual people.

When an INTJ and ENTP have conversation both sound pretty similar. Both are very direct, very confident, very opinionated, have a crude sense of humor and can be perceived as intimidating by many. The difference is that INTJ’s brain work mostly like a switch. They do not always open their mouth unless they are testing their ideas in the public without giving out their big motivation and goals or they are debating because they are confident in their conclusion about a topic which came from their personal research and insights. It is very much possible for an INTJ to stay quiet and all of a sudden almost lighting up at a topic of interest and genuinely sharing their insights which sounds very strong and opinionated to some listeners. They usually talk (if and when they do talk) in terms of high-level perspective. My mom after all these years of observing me came up with a very intelligent conclusion on her own and she does not know anything about MBTI and Jungian theories. She said about me, that if I”casually” bring a topic over and over again then that means I am genuinely working hard behind it but if I come up with a very strong opinion, chances are I am done with the process-so that opinion is not just a mere opinion but the conclusion of my findings.

So while an ENTP might just debates and discusses ideas for the sole purpose of exploration and learning from the conversation, an INTJ however, does this-either with a mission in head or just to share their critical insights. INTJs are also very secretive and they like to hide their original ideas from people. INTJs do not like to debate and often deem their opinion as right which might seem purely subjective to other NT or even NF types at first. But majority of their overarching statements with deep analysis come true. Because INTJs are so much future oriented that sometimes they just do not have the right words or means to express themselves. So while ENTP can still be perceived as a bit warmer (because of their Fe function), INTJ can come of as “know-it-all” arrogant. But both party is mostly trying to be as direct as possible without the intention of being rude.

Since Te is my growth functions, when I am getting things done I can be perceived as very commanding which is like an ENTJ. But before implementing my ideas into reality I take some time in contemplation an draw my inspiration from my Ni function. Because majority of the population is more sensory than intuitive and prefer extroversion over introversion- they don’t understand the mindset of a contemplating detached person. The very stereotypical label for that kind of a person is “moody”. But for a person like me- day dreaming and contemplation is an important part of my process. An INTJ who is doing a lot of sensory type work for a long period of time without any adequate break can feel him/herself being drained. Now-a-days I spend some time in contemplating, writing, meditating etc at my home everyday but try to be super-active at work to stay focused. That’s why without my “primary” presence of Ni I can seem as a Te dominant which is an ENTJ.

As a young INTJ (especially as a female) I have had my rough edges and I had been judged and labeled wrong my entire life. Because of some recent past life circumstances I went through some period of deep realization. I recently answered a question on Quora about how I changed the way I judge people now-a-days and that is usually by “good intention and sincere effort.” It is a very big realization for an INTJ because most of us, specially when we are young, cannot stand stupidity and inefficiency. So because of this spiritual transition I felt like I should have been more of an INFJ than and INTJ. But that is still my Fi function (known as authenticity) which I had mistaken as Fe (harmony). Also the usual stereotype about an INTJ is very strategic and systematic (they are rightfully known as “masterminds”) which gives an impression that they cannot like art, music, literature or even religion, philosophy etc which is a complete misconception. Some artist INTJ (because of this stereotype) associate themselves more with an INFJ (also known as Idealists) simply because they are artists or musician. Wrong! It is their authenticity (Fi) function which is responsible for their strong sense of moral values or beauty and their other strong(Ni/Te) and weaker(Se) functions help them in the process to become successful.

Anything which has some level of system and pattern- not only INTJ can master them, they can grow out of them and revamp the whole system in a more efficient and innovative way-be it music, art, engineering, sciences, writing etc etc. They have what I call a “structured creativity” and they are relentless in the use “some” of these talent in the outside world. I said “some” because not all ideas INTJs come up with are initially well-developed and are worth implementing. And also because INTJs are supremely competitive and critical about themselves. They are constantly refining their ideas and crafts inside. Some become so prone to perfection that they never come out of their shell and show the world the glimpse of their rich inner world. They think they are not ready yet since for them being ready means absolute perfection. INTJs who had decided to reach for excellence rather than perfection are thus more successful in life.

Lastly I want to talk about the difference among INTJ and INTP. How to tell them apart when both look pretty similar. The answer is the difference of dominant cognitive functions. In a general terms, how each of the type take action, what are each types’ strength and weaknesses-are usually the indicators of their type. An INTJs big dream is usually oriented towards the outer world. They want to use their gathered knowledge an perspective to solve a problem or create a product or service that impacts the world or (in an immediate realm) an organization, society or a country etc. I am pointing INTJs Te function. But INTPs gather knowledge and expertise mostly for their own personal growth.  An INTP immediately points out specific flaws (Ti function) of an argument or problem and they are very good at troubleshooting, while the INTJ probably won’t even notice the detail at first (unless they are so experienced in the field that they have developed to use both Te/Ti functions) and will immediately try to solve the problem from a top down systematic hierarchy keeping the overall end goal in mind.

Because of this product and project oriented approach INTJs are deemed as assets in an organization although they are not personally liked by many people and often bosses are intimidated by them. While INTPs exude a bit more warmth because of their inferior Fe functions and usually are able to thrive in an environment which are less structured and their independent pursuit of knowledge can be useful.

Anyway, I hope from my own personal experience I have given you some insights on how I differentiate myself from different personality types which are similar to mine in some ways. On later parts I will discuss how I am using my analysis to help myself develop as a person.


INTJThere are many resources online for these topics. The images I have shared are from these sites:

MBTI in a nutshell

personalityhacker

I am sharing some of my favorite YouTube Channels:

If you are more into following a formula for personal development, check out

Personality Hacker’s YouTube channel: Personality Hacker

But if you like to gain more perspective about each type then check out Michael Pierce’s (who is probably an INFJ)  channel: Michael Pierce

 


Read Next Part: Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

Most Important Post for INTJs:

eBook: Of, By, For The INTJ

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

A career guide for all types:

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type


 

 

 

How I Deal With Toxic People & How You Should NOT

There are gazillions of posts and videos online about how to deal with toxic or negative people in your life. Today I will share my own perspective as an INTJ-A type female on how to deal with those “bad hombres” (saying it like our beloved(!) US president Donald J. Trump). But I do not recommend these same methods for you since they might turn your life upside down. My life is fine since it is already upside down! So read with a touch of humor and follow if needed with your own discretion.

Note:

If you are not familiar with 16 MBTI personality types,  particularly INTJ-A/T types and what it means to be an INTJ-A female then click all the hyperlinks on this sentence that I have provided, although there are tons of information about this topic online.

My definition of toxic people might differ from yours. I label people as toxic or negative- who always have this ambiguous negative vibe about them, they are manipulative, has very high ego, they think they are always right, way too judgmental about others, jealous about others success/progress, selfish people who act altruistic, bullying others and always complaining and gossiping about others.

So without any further ado let’s get to the point on how to deal with them-

  1.  Ignore toxic people like plague and admit it when confronted

Ignore

Yes, ignore toxic people like they don’t exist and make them second guess themselves about their own existence. So if they ask you why you are trying to ignore them, let them know in precise words why. Be brutally honest and show your detail analysis with appropriate data and chart- why you think they are bad people or what they have done wrong.

2. Show how much you (don’t) give a f**** about toxic people’s opinion

giphy.gif

Yes, please! When manipulative people try to give you some bad advice as if they are in control of your life, tell them, “my life totally revolves around your opinion” and give this expression of the above GIF, unless you have a chance to get beaten up. Yes, people will call you a rude, sarcastic b****. But if you don’t care in the first place about people’s approval then you should not get offended.

3. F**** their bad vibes

bad vibes

Yes, screw bad people’s bad vibes by telling them, “I get a negative vibe from you, are you a good person or are you acting like one !?” At best, give them bad vibes back.

 

4. Speak sarcasm fluently

sarcasm-vs-diplomacy_o_1013012 (1).jpeg

Yes, they say-“when you cannot convince them, confuse them”. So be diplomatic like everyone else. But if that is not your thing then, play dark humor with crude smile each time and measure toxic people’s intelligence level.

5.  Be downright confrontational

confronting-your-leader

This is too dangerous even as a humor! No, not like this picture above-but when none of the above method works and it is time for you to get to the point- then with your thorough patience and impeccable logic confront the bad people. Intimidate the f**** outta them and make them defeated. In fact, keep doing that until bad people stop bothering you with their bad presence.

Disclaimer: 

This post should not be taken seriously.


Another weird but useful post just for you:

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

Introducing an eBook For INTJ

 

 

Cherishing The Time of My Struggle

Yes, I was there where some of you are right now. And my life struggle is not over yet, it won’t be over until I die. But as long as we live, no matter what happens in our lives we always keep moving forward to the next phase. While we work very hard to get our next goal, as soon as we get it, we human beings are so ungrateful that we get used to it very fast. We always think, “Okay, now what’s next?” But seldom we reflect on how far we have come in life.

Right now as I am writing this, I am sitting on my bed in a super tiny studio apartment in San Diego. I am a single lady, thinking of my next move in life. I want to find a good life partner and get married. How long do I want to live alone and pay high rent? It is time to get a house and start a family.

As I plan forward for my next life events- I feel slightly impatient. But as of right now-I finished an electrical engineering degree from a pretty well-known school in my career field, bagged a wonderful-stable-career job, got almost a couple of years worth of experience doing the dream stuff I once aspired to do. I am independent and no one is there to tell me what to do with my life.

Right now I am recalling one of those evenings after my graduation. I dipped my feet in the Jacuzzi of our apartment complex, looking at my phone but not really looking, my mind was racing with anxiety of the unknown. I was thinking, “What will happen to me? Why am I not getting any responses from those companies-especially the DoD jobs? How long do they take? Am I already rejected? I had to borrow money from my mom to pay the next month’s bill. How long will this continue?” I breathed a sigh of grief-the one that takes you to the path of depression, the one that makes you feel that none of your attempts are apparently working.

Long story short-I came far far away from that point. And I had many countless of these struggles in my life. I think I should write a series on just those high and low points in my life. No one would believe but deep down, even when things were not working the way I expected-I knew that at the end I will be fine. I always believed in some kind of an end game. If it did not ended well-to me that is not the end. You gotta have trust in something-in you, in God or whatever. I always had trust in God almighty’s master plan- the one that he created for me.

If I knew back then what I have achieved now, I would not spend my free time in tension and anxiety. Instead I would cheer myself up with a pat in the back. I would tell myself that I am doing great and I am portraying the best example of me while struggling.

If I am still alive and well a few years from now, probably I will be upset with my child or my hubby with something trivial and probably I will forget that once I had desired for this very moment in my life. Now that I know from my past experience, instead of being stressed I am enjoying this moment of uncertainty.

bryant-mcgill-your-struggle-strength