“Let Me Set You Free”

Oh my vulnerable heart, let me set you free!

I created this cage to hide you from the plain sights of this brutal world.

I take great care of you and keep you on guard.

I see too many hearts- beaten, broken, torn into pieces.

I keep you safe so that you don’t go through the same as others have gone.

But you wish to be strong and mature now.

It is time to set you free and let you fly.

Do what it pleases you and don’t regret …

This brutal world can no longer hold you back.

Because now you are part of the infinite sky.

…………………………………………………………………………………

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“My Mind Is A Fortress”

Revisiting the state of my mind for those who don’t know it.

My mind is a fortress, a sacred place atop of the imaginary tallest mountain.

I meditate there and connect with the source of my supreme power (God). This is the place of my inspiration and creativity.

Do you know what is truly intimate?

To welcome someone into their inner sacred world of dreams, hopes, visions, and fantasy.

There is a secret passage leading to the top of that fortress roof. There is no door, it is always open.

But no one knows how to get there unless I guide them towards my inner self.

There is a problem with this secret place. And the problem is that there is an entry upon my guidance, but there is no hypothetical exit.

Rarely I volunteer to show my inner sacred mind to others. 

But if you ever found it, you might enter as you please but you take an exit only with my permission.

I trust no one to let them be here.

But if I trust you and you broke that trust, you are forever alienated in a dark hypothetical cell of this fortress where you sometimes feel the gentle cool breeze coming from the high ventilator above, but can never see the sky.

No matter, where you go, you might be thinking that you are living your life, but you forever will be in that dark place of my mind, because you took my real intimacy for granted. 

And this is your punishment from me.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

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The Thought Of The Night-“Out of Sight, Out Of Mind”

10/31/2020

10:55 PM (EST)

How was your Halloween this year?

I didn’t have any party.

Well, before I go to bed, I am thinking about writing some thoughts down.

I once saw this quote from a character in a Bollywood movie which is something like this, “We eventually forget each other thinking that she (or he) doesn’t remember (or think of) me then why should I.” I forgot which movie it was or the actor playing the character. If anyone remembers please let me know in the comment below. Also, correct my translation if needed. I just took the gist of it.

Anyway, that line stuck with me and it reminded me of the problem with long-distance relationships and the effect of the lack of intimacy. From my experience and what I have observed from other people’s lives is that long-distance relationships usually don’t work.

It is a sad reality. Especially in this time of global pandemic when we are stuck at home away from our loved ones- this is a serious issue.

“Out of sight, in fact, does become out of mind.”

I hope we gather the patience that we need to deal with this tough time and keep staying in touch with the people we love until we meet them hopefully soon.

That’s it for tonight.

………………………

The Thought of The Night- “Revenge Is Self-Consuming”


The Thought of The Night- “Revenge Is Self-Consuming”

12:51 am (EST)

10/29/2020

It is past my usual bedtime.

It’s been a long time since I wrote something on this “thought of the night” series on my WordPress blog. The last time I wrote something like this blog post was in 2017. It goes to show that I lack consistency in my hobbies.

Hobbies are for relaxation and unwinding in leisure, but a bit of consistency goes a long way.

But, anyway…

Today I will talk about how I felt vengeful at certain times in the past, but life kept happening, and I kept moving forward instead. And I am so glad that I did (move forward).

Yes, in the grand scheme of things moving forward and trying to live better or do better is the best thing you can do.

I know- this sounds cliche, and I have heard this specific suggestion from friends and family whenever I was in deep sh*t and needed uplifting.

Today I am not trying to write some of those age-old cliche lectures on how karma is a b*tch and time heals everything. What goes around, comes around… Blah blah!

Karma is true, though; time heals most things (well, it puts specific painful memories in some locked compartments in our mind) but not everything.

But not trying to get even with the people who either wanted to harm me or got in my way of achieving something was not about karma, nor were they about my feelings. Although my wounds are still there, being the pragmatic person I am, I always let my head lead me.

I did the mental math and played different scenarios in my head, and in most cases, it just seemed counterproductive to get back at people who were against me. The amount of energy one needs to take to plan revenge can be used to transcend that situation by moving forward quickly and effectively. Besides, one needs to look back and live in the past to take revenge, whereas I like my future potential more.

So revenge is self-consuming. Also, it has the potential to add more uncertainties and more risks to already existing miseries.

In difficult situations, getting back at enemies with practical steps is essential. Seeking justice for oneself and others is often a moral duty.

Otherwise, the daily narcissists, sociopaths, passive aggressors, bullies, parasitic leeches, and soul-sucking vultures should be avoided and ignored at all costs.

A new job comes after a job loss, good health (sometimes) comes after bad ones, good fortune comes after the financial crisis, and a good relationship mends a broken heart. And even if people die, they just die, full stop. Perhaps there is a new beginning after death as well.

None of these are the end of anything. Perhaps destroying or ending enemies is not necessarily the goal of taking revenge.

The best revenge is when you gradually make the negative people in your life irrelevant, like they don’t matter- neither to you nor to society.

The first step is effectively seeking justice (if possible) and doing better things than what has been damaged. And the second is to remove these individuals from your life. Sometimes some of these people are your close ones, and it is irresponsible to remove them or ignore them entirely from your life. But at least keep a respectable distance, and even if you give them any entry back into your life, don’t be the same as you were before. Make them realize that what you have been through and your current equation with them is the updated version from past mistakes.

People who harm you, don’t break them back, but you should openly and genuinely talk about your experience so others know what you are going through. Sometimes this is not possible immediately because narcissistic sociopaths are very big about their reputations. But eventually, other people need to learn about them, and words should be spread out so that more people don’t become victims of such aggressors.

Anyway, that’s it for today…

Hopefully, I will bring a new topic for another day.

Good night!


MBTI Type Of Elliot From Mr. Robot

I finished binge-watching Mr.Robot on Amazon Prime all the way from season 1 through season 4 just in a matter of a week. It is a pretty good show, I must say. But one question which got in my mind is what MBTI type Elliot Alderson is? Well, even though I have written MBTI in the title, I would actually elaborate more in terms of Jungian Cognitive Functions on this post.

So spoiler alert (!), as I am about to give away some key points from the storyline. So if you have not watched the show all seasons already, do so before you read this post. So run!

And without any further ado, here we go-

Some people on Quora labeled Elliot as an INTJ.

Both INTJs and INTPs dominate the technical fields and both types are mostly lone wolves. Some of them can have social anxiety. But Cognitive Functions wise, they are vastly different people.

If you wish to learn about Jungian Cognitive Functions, check this answer I wrote on Quora or read my other answers about Jungian Types. You can also ask me questions there.

But let’s get back to the topic.

Well, first of all, he has a Dissociative identity (aka multiple personalities) disorder. So he is perhaps unable to fully utilize his dominant four functions. So even if he is an INTJ, he is not normal.

Out of his two distinctive personalities which co-exist the majority of the time- Elliot (himself) and his ideal parent figure Mr. Robot are INTP and ENTJ respectively. That is the only combo that makes sense to me in terms of cognitive functions. Let me explain to you elaborately:

INTP’s cognitive functions: Ti>Ne>Si>Fe

ENTJ’s cognitive functions: Te>Ni>Se>Fi

So as you can see, ENTJs and INTPs are opposite of each other in terms of cognitive function stacks.

To me, it seems clearly visible that, while his parent figures the imaginary Mr. Robot is the commander in chief, a true competitive go-getter just like an ENTJ should be, Elliot as a child is still quite analytical, hence he is an INTP.

The imaginary Mr. Robot always lectures Elliot about what is practical, at times treats him quite aggressively and even makes important decisions for him or carries out actions (even in his absence of mind). I am not saying that all ENTJs are aggressive like Mr. Robot. But Mr. Robot is too action-oriented to be any other type.

Most INTPs I know are gifted in cybersecurity and computer programming, etc. INTJs are great too, but not in the same way as INTPs are.

INTP’s first two functions are Ti and Ne which enable them to make, break or troubleshoot complex computer security systems.

Also, some fans in Quora and Reddit are saying how he uses Ni, he is a visionary, etc. But what he is using at least as Elliot is Ti. His inner dialogue with himself is Ti focused while what Mr. Robot suggests to him are basically Te (effective actions) out loud.

What this imaginary father-son duo is really good at is deciding what to do and using hacking as a means to get it done, not really at the vision. Because their collective vision as we can learn at different times seems to be proven flawed. Why and how? You have to really watch the show. If I tell you exactly at what point Elliot/Mr. Robots plans/visions seemed flawed and were later tweaked/corrected, then there is no point in watching the show at all. I cannot spoil it that much for you.

Is an INTJ’s vision ever flawed? INTJ’s are Ni- driven. Just like an INTP’s Ti, ENTJ’s Te is on point, an INTJ’s strategic vision is on point too.

Now, towards the end of the show, Krista tells her in his dream that how the mastermind self of Elliot has put the true Elliot in a loop.

Maybe if Elliot’s true self is an INTJ, because of his mental disorder, it has created many different shadow personalities like different windows, which is why his strategy had weaknesses since he even loses memory sometimes.

I know some of you might be thinking that a counter-argument to this is that Elliot is a mentally ill INTJ and his imaginary Mr. Robot is in fact an ENTP (just by going my yin yang father-son duo personality pair logic above). Yes, that is a possibility. But Mr. Robot doesn’t seem very ENTPish, in fact, I thought he is driven for accomplishing goals just like Tyrell Wellick is. Some might label Tyrell as an ENTJ as well, while others as an ISTJ (either way Tyrell is a Te focused achievement-oriented individual).

I read in another blog post that Elliot is an INTJ because of how he tries to discipline himself by putting himself into jail and creating an imaginary facade for a while to get rid of his imaginary Mr. Robot’s personality. But this process at the end doesn’t work! It is the same as if an INTP momentarily tries to frame himself in structure to accomplish something, but in the long run s/he cannot keep up with it since that is not who s/he is ( i.e not a judging type). The only habit which Elliot has autopiloted himself through is hacking almost everyone he comes into contact with to learn their secrets. This part seems like an INTJ thing (since INTJs have a tendency to autopilot through tasks which they believe work for them) but can also be viewed as an INTP Ti-Ne analysis process. Either way, this is a form of defense mechanism for Elliot! Why? Again, TMI. Go watch the show till the end.

If he is an INTJ then his INTJ self might be divided into many different subconscious levels because of his mental health issue.

Do you think an INTJ with ADHD is able to perform at his peak level? Then why would an INTJ with multiple personality disorder be their true INTJ self? Usually, Ne function users are prone to ADHD or multiple personality disorders because Ne function is responsible for the knack of mental exploration. Ne diverges from one point to many possibilities, while Ni converges from many perspectives to one point or a single goal. So while Ne users are prone to ADHD, Ni users (especially INTJ/INFJ) can develop OCD which is quite the opposite of ADHD.

So for now, I would go with “true” Elliot typed as an INTP, and not INTJ.

If you understand Jungian Cognitive Functions- just try to pair the true Elliot and his imaginary guide Mr. Robot as other opposite types which have not been discussed in this blog post.

For example- try to imagine Mr. Robot as an INTJ and Elliot as an ENTP or even ENFP. It doesn’t make sense. You might type Mr. Robot the dad as either INTJ/ENTJ since both are basically intro/extroverted version of each other in terms of cognitive functions, but it doesn’t make sense that Elliot is peppy and spunky like an ENTP/ENFP.

You might say that Elliot might be an INFP (a lost puppy child). INFP is the opposite of ENTJ in terms of letters. But even for a lost puppy child, he seemed pretty on point in terms of logic and skills.

I constantly see him using the Ti function and thinking through everything. So Elliot for me is an INTP. You are welcome to present your argument against mine in the comment section of this post.

Now, who is an INTJ in the show? I think FBI Agent Dipirro is a good example of a female INTJ. She could be an INFJ too, but unlikely. But she is Ni-dominant for sure. The first scene of her breaks out like how she is a lone wolf and secondly, she already connects the dots intuitively ten steps ahead in Romero’s murder scene. She has been correct with her hunches all along. She is alert, honest, driven, and investigative- most of these qualities are INTJ qualities. She also seemed to figure out the entire chain of people behind the five/nine attack and other ongoing E Corp targeted massacre.

If Agent Dipirro or Sherlock Holmes were in Elliot’s place and imagine they had normal mental functions, did they actually have to hack each individual to see what is in their personal records? Or would they already intuitively sense a lot of things about some people?

I am not saying that INTPs have the need to hack someone but INTJs don’t. Both Elliot and Dipirro have problems socializing. But they are dealing with the problems differently using their respective cognitive skills. Over time what worked for Elliot is hacking each person that he comes in contact with because he is not naturally hunch driven. He needs to analyze everything with his Ti. He is mostly lost in his mind due to his disorder. So he auto-piloted himself into certain types of things he normally does, hacking people and when almost getting caught burning any evidence.

If he really is an INTJ though he must have been using his shadow stacks all along since his Ni no longer works well. Since Ni comes with Se in a functional stack. For Ni to work properly one needs to be mindful. So an unhealthy INTJ can be just like him (a confused NT type).

Even the show narrated in a very ADHD (but albeit in a creative) way. The author, as I have read somewhere loosely based on Elliot’s character on his own.

He tied all the loose ends drawing a very detailed picture of the entire narrative. But his writing approach is very similar to how I once learned art in a fine art class. I used to have this hobby sketch/painting class, where the teacher taught me that if I struggle at one point drawing a picture, I should momentarily leave it and come back for it later. And at later attempts, it seemed easier as by now I had gained other perspectives by drawing other parts.

Even if Elliot himself is not an INTJ, the show writer might be a Fi developed INTJ who I am not sure if have had his own personal struggle of mental health issues. Regardless, he did a great job very carefully weaving and crafting the whole story of the show called Mr. Robot on Amazon Prime.

I think the real mastermind here is the show author Sam Esmail. He might be an INTJ, but not Elliot Alderson the protagonist.

………………………………………………

Thanks for reading. If you want me to review other shows/movies/videos or type some other characters, feel free to recommend me in the comment section. Also, read some other reviews I had done in the past like GoT.

Image Courtesy: Mr. Robot

Is COVID-19 a Bio attack? And Who is Dr. Shi Zhengli?

This post has hyperlinked references. You must click and read them to fully understand. This post will be updated accordingly with new information.

TL;DR

Today is 4/9/2020 11:30 in eastern time in the US, as I am writing this. I don’t think I have to describe it to you, what has been happening right now to this world, especially in the US.

As of right now according to this Bing COVID-19 Tracker there are 1,600,427 cases worldwide with 95699 deaths and in the US alone there are 468,703 cases with 16,679 deaths. So it is pretty darn terrible!

One of the most on going pressing questions that are making rounds on the internet, is whether this COVID-19 aka Coronavirus is a bioattack? Now China blames the US and the US blames China. But even it was a bio-attack hypothetically, everyone knows by now this is worse than suicide bombing because it not only can destroy your enemy, it can destroy your own people, economy, reputation, it can cripple the entire human civilization.

So today I have decided to delve deeper into this question to find an answer. Because I am tired and fed up with reading only conspiracy theories as an answer to this query (whether COVID-19 is a bioattack or not).

Take for example this question on Quora, Is it possible that the recent China coronavirus outbreak is a bio-attack? has 100+ answers and still counting. I can already save you some time categorizing the tone of those answers: denial of such claim (that whether it is a bioattack) with/without any factual basis, conspiracy theories and hidden gems with some key reference.

One of the Anonymous answers is this in the hyperlink touches most of the basis of conspiracy theories which other answers include. So I don’t wish to repeat them. But what is interesting is that a hypothetical timeline starts forming in front of your eyes. Obviously, that also fuels more speculations, but I will add the facts into that timeline also.

The above anonymous answer claims that China took inspiration of a possible bioweapon-attack from already existing novels, movies, and even public speeches. Chinese can also claim the same BTW that the US did it.

But out of all the piles of horse shit, one answer that caught my eyes is this one, which does not talk about any conspiracy theories but builds a very logical hypothesis on already existing facts. This answer also brought my attention to Wuhan Lab’s Chinese Virologist Dr. Shi Zhengli‘s research activities which I am going to elaborate about in a bit.

How China’s “Bat Woman” Hunted Down Viruses from SARS to the New Coronavirus

But first, let’s look at the fact and fiction timeline:

Fiction: The Eyes of Darkness – a fictional novel released in 1981 talks about this virus named Wuhan-400. Even though the symptoms are different, the city’s name Wuhan is there as that anonymous answer pointed out.

Fact: Between 2002-2004 SARS CoV outbreak happened in China.

Fact: Wuhan Institute of Virology started its operation since 2005. Ever since then Dr. Shi and her team have been investigating bat originated SARs virus and continued to have published papers till now.

Fiction: Sylvia Browne’s prediction about a pneumonia-like virus in the year 2020 in her book named Prophecy published in 2008. You must have seen or heard about this book by now many times. I myself bought a copy from Amazon to check out that page. But while most of her predictions are just some made up bat shit, this one perhaps was purely coincidental. It is still pretty vague though, considering China already had SARs virus outbreak back in 2003 and a few other viruses broke before or during the time of this book’s publication. It is not hard to make this up. It can be common sense or a mere gut feeling.

Fiction: The movie Contagion(2011). Read the plot or watch it.

Fact/Warning: Bill Gates’ warning about a potential epi/pandemic back in 2015.

2019: COVID-19 started from Wuhan China and the virus was quickly identified and named after COVID-19 or Coronavirus because of Dr. Shi and her team’s research work. And why not? She has been working hard to identify/test SARs virus in bats.

So seeing all these you can decide whether you wanna conclude if something smells fishy, although some experts have already concluded that Coronavirus is completely naturally mutated. Actually, every other year there are some types of viruses spreading like Swine Flu, Ebola, .etc. But because none of those became global pandemic it did not catch our attention like the current COVID-19. It is true that viruses mutate all the time.

So, thanks to Dr. Shi Zhengli and many virologists like her around the world who have been working hard in such research which we never thought could be important. Because of people like her, we might have got to know what has been happening to us sooner.

But wait, as I have mentioned before one of the Quora answers pointed out that, Dr. Shi also conducted researches where the possible mixing of HIV with SARs CoV was mentioned (take a look at the following paper):

Angiotensin-converting enzyme 2 (ACE2) proteins of different bat species confer variable susceptibility to SARS-CoV

The above paper was published in 2010. Even before in 2008, she published the following paper where this concept is mentioned.

Difference in Receptor Usage between Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) Coronavirus and SARS-Like Coronavirus of Bat Origin

And take a look at these posts:

HIV & Ebola-Like Mutations Suggest Coronavirus Leaked From a Lab

Coronavirus far more likely than Sars to bond to human cells due to HIV-like mutation, scientists say

Coronavirus ‘is like a combination of SARS and AIDS’, doctors say

There is a difference between an intentional bio-attack or one “mad” scientist’s lab experiment gone bad (read leaked). However, it is not clear how can a level -4 Virology  Lab like the one in Wuhan have experimental leaks.

As one of the Quora answers (mentioned above) concluded, “I would say it is unlikely a bio-weapon, but possibly some mad scientists’ crazy dream coming true – helping bat virus directly attack human being”.

I don’t know if we will ever get to the bottom of this, or we would ever know who was the patient zero or how s/he got the virus. There are many conflicting views about the patient zero. You will also find many fake YouTube videos that claim to be filmed in Wuhan Seafood Market where allegedly the virus started, but it is filmed elsewhere. Bats still remain the food delicacy in many parts of the world.

But until I find any further update on this issue, it seems like a leaked experiment (unintentional or not) which perhaps infected a human and/or a bat directly and naturally kept mutating till now, that’s why scientists who claim that Coronavirus came out through the natural process of sequencing are right as well. Although Dr. Shi herself completely denied such allegations of experimental leaks, her or the Wuhan’s lab’s involvement in this virus spread. She thinks this is nature’s punishment to mankind for having unhealthy habits.

We are not sure if Dr. Shi is a psychopath (since a lot of gifted people especially scientists can be), neither we know if someone else used her published papers as some recipe book of mass-distraction to teach mankind a lesson, or was it purely coincidentally spread from bat/wild animals-human direct contact which has similarities with HIV virus too and RaTG13. But until further updates let’s trust scientists’ claims that Coronavirus started spreading naturally.

Update: Read the following article which was published on April 14, 2020:

https://www.businessinsider.com/us-officials-raised-alarms-about-safety-issues-in-wuhan-lab-report-2020-4?amp=

Check out this video and you decide the conclusion:

Dream Architect

This is one of the many modular fictional stories like The Man And His Mysterious Kitten, which are slated to be part of a big novel.

Right now I am sitting next to John on the wing of an abandoned, rusty military airplane in the middle of a big field full of grass. The crashed plane’s bottom is buried in the ground and wings are touching the soil. The weather is gentle and pleasant, the sky is slightly cloudy and romantic with the sun peeking through occasionally.

I am wearing a black long gown which has some very nice blue-aqua handwork around my kneck, chest, and full sleeves. I am also wearing some silver jewelry paired with my Indo-western fusion outfit. A gentle breeze is playing through my long brown hair which is coming from the ocean afar and John next to me is wearing a blue-white plaid shirt and pants.

He broke the silence, “A broken plane in the middle of a big field and then an ocean, right in front of us nearby? What kinda weird place is this?”

I replied, “Well, this is a fuse between Dayton, Ohio and San Diego, California. The best I could think of..”

John laughed, “Oh! Great! It is like the Pacific Ocean in the Midwest! You are the best dream architect I could have thought of. I cannot come up with these. Everything is so incredibly detailed including what we are wearing and how I am feeling at this very moment. Even though all of it is fake. Everything seems symbolic and philosophical..”

I added, after a long breath, “Yeah now-a-day simulation seems more real than real life. Is there any point of living with a body, if I can just visualize everything in my head? Somehow maybe my mind can survive. What do you think?”

John, “What? You sound kinda depressed. How is your education going? Any new jobs? Any new prospects? What are you up to these days?”

I added with an upsetting tone, “Let’s not ask anything about real life. You cannot imagine what I have been going through. You are also partly responsible for this. I still cannot make peace with the fact that you were against me as well… I hope you can keep your job in that hell hole!”

John yelled, “Hey! Calm down…Okay.”

Suddenly the weather changed. Clouds got darker and the wind got stronger. It’s as if a storm is about to happen.

John asked, “What’s going on?”

I said, “Well, this is a reflection of our changing mood. The weather pattern changes accordingly in simulation showing our discomfort. Well, in real life our life events change according to our state of mind and we do not realize.”

John just vanished. He took off. He is probably pissed right now. I turned off my simulation headpiece which connects through my head’s brain implant.

Even outside my window, I see stormy weather. There was no indication of such a thing in the weather app a while ago. Is this a pure coincidence? The last time when I was feeling angry and depressed with John I felt a sharp pain in my head and wasn’t it stormy outside?


To be continued…

The Man And His Mysterious Kitten

This is a fictional story and has the potential to be part of a bigger story.

hello kitty

There is a very beautiful fluffy big-eyed white kitten sitting quietly on the cabinet right next to John’s office desk staring at him. She is dressed as the hello kitty. John just arrived in his room at 7:00 am. He usually gets here before everybody else. He is surprised to see this cat. Where did she come from so early in the morning? John has a soft corner for kittens. He picked the kitty up in his arms and found a typed up note which said:

” A gift for you, from someone from your past.”

This must have been a prank. John does not like drama. Is it possible that his wife is testing John, whether he has a past or not? His coworkers are not really prankster-type.

John tried to put the cat down on the table, but the cat just hung on to his shirt buttons with her little paws. John hugged her again and the cat seemed very content. John sat on his chair with the kitty in his arms. He kept thinking, “Who could it be? I hope Karen(supervisor) doesn’t see this cat.” He then thought, “What if Karen herself brought it for him? But why would she do that?” He got up with the kitten earnestly hugging his kneck, to check on Karen’s room. Karen did not arrive just yet.

Even though the office starts at 7:15 am, most people come around 7:45 am to 8:00 am and some leave the office very late. John lives very close to walking distance. He thought about taking the kitty home and coming back. His wife is at work too. But what if someone lost the kitten? But who brings a cat in the office? This kitten seems really well-groomed. It cannot be a stray cat. As if someone put a lot of thought into it and he or she knows that John will like the cat.

He gently placed the kitten down on his table and she snuggled near the keyboard. Aww! It’s so cute! Where should John inquire about the cat? What if someone claims it?

John texted his wife, “I found a kitten on my desk. Are you playing a prank on me? It says this is a gift from the past.” His wife probably left for office. She will drop their toddler to the day-care before heading to the office. So it will take some time for her to reply.

He thought, “If I take the kitty home, where will I place it? Is she potty trained? Is she hungry?”

It is 7:30 am already. Nobody came to the office yet. It is strange. All the cubicles nearby are still empty. Is everyone playing pranks with John?

He picked the cat up, drove to Walmart, bought a bag of cat food, two bowls, litter box and drove home which is across the street to Walmart. He put out two bowls in his hobby room: filled one with water, another with food. He moved his hobby stuff from the table to the top of the cupboards so that the kitten could not climb on the table and knock things off. He locked the room and drove back to the office.

It is 8:30 am now. By now most people are here. He saw his supervisor passing by. John out of his guilt told her even though he was not asked, “I came early just like all the other days, but had an emergency. So I had to run back home.”- to which Karen gave a fake smile like she understood and cared.

He still has not asked anyone yet about the mysterious cat. All this means that he already liked and accepted the kitten and he does not wish to lose her.


Read Next: Dream Architect

অন্য ভুবন – পর্ব ১

এটি একটি কাল্পনিক গল্প। এর সব চরিত্র ও ঘটনা কাল্পনিক। যদি বাস্তবের কোন কিছুর সাথে মিল  খুঁজে পাওয়া যায় তবে তা নিছক কাকতাল মাত্র। 

আমি আমার বান্ধবী এবং মানুষিক চিকিৎসা বিশেষজ্ঞ ড. জেসিকা হ্যানের অফিসে আমার সেশনে বসে আছি। আমার মেডিকেল টেস্ট রিপোর্ট গুলো দেখে ও বলল, “সব কিছুই তো নরমাল মনে হচ্ছে। আমি কোন হরমনাল ইম্ব্যালান্সও রিপোর্টে দেখছিনা।  এমনকি সেরেটনিন, ডোপামিন লেভেলও স্বাভাবিক। তোমার আসলে কাজের চাপে এবং অফিস পলিটিক্সের কারণে অডিটরি এবং ভিসুয়াল হালুসিনেশন হচ্ছে বলে মনে হয়।”

আমি না সূচক মাথা নাড়লাম। ও বলল, “এধরনের ঘটনা আগে কখন হয়েছে?”

আমি উত্তর দিলাম, “না”।

জেসিকা বলল, ” তোমার অবচেতন মস্তিস্ক তোমাকে বিরতি নিতে বলছে। তুমি এখনকার কাজটা ছেঁড়ে দাও, নতুবা তোমাকে এই চাকরি শেষ করে ফেলবে।”

আমি বললাম: “আমি তোমাকে বোঝাতে পারবনা। আমি চেষ্টা করছি ছেঁড়ে দেয়ার কিন্তু পারছিনা। আমার মনে হয় খুব শিগগিরি আমাকে চাকরি থেকে বাতিল করা হবে। অনেক দেরি হয়ে গেছে। আমার মনে হয় তা হতে দেয়াই ভাল। চাকরি থেকে ফায়ার হয়া সমস্যা নয়। আমার সুপারভাইসর আমার রেপুটেশন এবং আমার ক্যারিয়ার চিরতরে নষ্ট করার চেষ্টা করছে। আসিফ শুধু আমাকে সাবধান করছে যে এরকম টা হবে, আগেই প্রস্তুতি নেয়া ভালো।”

জেসিকা ঃ ” তোমার এক্স-বয়ফ্রেনড তো হয় হারিয়ে গেছে নয়ত মারা গেছে তোমার দেশে। সে কিভাবে যুক্তরাষ্ট্রে তোমার ক্যালিফরনিয়ার এপার্টমেন্টে দেখা দিবে? তুমি হালুসিনেশনের কারণে ওকে মাঝে মাঝে দেখতে পাও। তোমার করমস্থল খুবই টকসিক তোমার মানুষিক এবং শারীরিক স্বাস্থ্যের জন্য। আমি তোমার পরিবারের লোকজনের  পুরো হেলথ হিস্ট্রি জানতে চাই। যেহেতু তুমি মেয়ে তাই তোমার আর  তোমার প্যাটারনাল  ডিএনএ রেসালট দরকার। আমাকে এটা বুঝতে সাহায্য করবে  যে তোমার কোন স্কিযফ্রেনিক জীন আছে কিনা। এধরনের সিম্পটম অনেক সময় ফামিলিতে রান করে। সাধারণত স্কিযফ্রেনিয়ায় অডিটরি হালুসিনেশন হয়, তোমারটা মনে হয় স্পেশাল কেস।”

আমি আর কিছুই বললাম না। দীর্ঘনিঃশ্বাস ফেললাম শুধু।

আমি এর পর যাই বলি তাই অযৌক্তিক মনে হবে। যদিও ডাক্তারের কাছে কিছু লুকাতে নেই। আমি ইঞ্জিনিয়ার হয়ে যদি এসব বিশ্বাস করি, তাহলে জেসিকা মনে করতে পারে আমি চাকরীর ব্যাপারটা নিয়েও বানোয়াট কথা বলেছি।

জেসিকা যোগ করলঃ ” তোমার প্রাইমারি ফিযিশিয়ানের কাছ থেকে আমি তোমার টেস্ট রিপোর্ট নিলাম। এখানে তো তোমার ভিটামিন ডি ডেফিশিয়ান্সি ছাড়া প্রায় সবই স্বাভাবিক। তুমি সত্যি কোন হালুসিনেশন রিক্রিয়েটিং ড্রাগ নিচ্ছ নাতো? আমি তোমাকে নিউরোট্রান্সমিটার ডোপামিন কে ঠিক মাত্রায় রাখার জন্য মেডিসিন দিতে পারি। কিন্তু নিশ্চিত না হয়ে দেবনা। তোমাকে দেখে সুস্থ মনে হয়। তোমার হেলথি লাইফ স্টাইল টা তুমি মেইনটেইন কর, ছেড়ে দিয় না। তোমার ঘটনার কোন লজিকাল ব্যখ্যা আমি খুঁজে পাচ্ছিনা। তোমার সাথে আগামি সপ্তাহে আবার দেখা হবে।”

আমি হ্যাঁ সূচক মাথা নেড়ে উঠলাম।


চলবে …

পরের পর্বের জন্য এই ব্লগে সাবস্ক্রাইব করতে ভুলবেননা। এই ব্লগের পাতায় নিয়মিত চোখ রাখুন…

 

 

Space Dream!

Inspired by a true event.

I did not know cats can have tonsillitis too! Weird! I had that once or twice during my childhood. My kitty Lory has been crying with a runny nose near the doorway for the last couple of days. We are residing in a giant space pod as the test subjects in a space colony parked on high earth orbit. Right now there are a lot of flat irregular shaped giant space pods surrounding the earth with many test subjects- humans, animals just like ours. They look like some gray space rock from afar. I signed up for this with my pet for some extra cash. I am broke after my graduation and did not land a job right away.

I called the hotline and found out there is no vet in our pod. The next day I was informed that we are staying in a sterilized organic oxygen-producing environment and we are being checked every day everywhere. So if the cat caught tonsillitis that means there are some unknown bacteria in the space pod. So a team is coming to take us back to earth for a few days while they take care of the cat and clean or check the whole space vehicle.

The next day a group of four people came; one lady and three gentlemen from the earth. We went back to earth and parked the vehicle on a beach during the day time. They said my cat is being taken care of and I must leave immediately, it will take only tonight to fix everything and tomorrow morning we can go back in mission.

I followed the lady and the guys’ team who brought us back. We had dinner together and we small talked a little bit. It became dark quickly. After a while, the lady said let’s go. I was following them but I told them that I need to go to the bathroom. After I came back I did not see them. I started panicking a little bit. I have dyslexia with direction sometimes. If I do not pay attention I cannot find ways back. I was still trying my best to follow a direction that I thought was correct. I was walking towards the wooden pier. At the end of the pier, there are these two stairs going down and I believe that I have to take the left one. As I was walking down, I heard some people coming towards my direction talking about a parked space pod and an escaped suspect! I asked them what they were talking about and they said, they heard some guy ran away from a hijacked space pod near the beach and pointed their fingers where I was heading. I thought this couldn’t be right. So I must go in the opposite direction; there must be more than one space pod parked and not just ours.  Because I did not escape from our mission!

At this point I woke up from my dream. I slept really late last night, around 3 AM and now it’s almost 12pm. OMG! The dream was so vivid but obviously it was a dream that’s why a lot of things had missing pieces or did not make sense at all. But in the dream everything seemed logical. Also I noticed that I was a guy there even though I am a female. I don’t recall watching any Sci-Fi movies recently. Where did the plot come from in my head? I am sorry guys, if you somehow found this blog post bizarre.