Life Hack Tips: When you should NOT make a big decision

Being decisive is one of the greatest gifts of life. People who can make the right decisions for important events in their lives, achieve more success and happiness. Sometimes we do have to act quickly at the moment. But if you have the choice of taking your time, avoid making big decisions during these three periods below:

1. When you are angry:  

When we are mad, we tend to act at the spur of the moment which sometimes does irreparable damage that cannot be undone later. It is important not to lose your calm and not to make a bad judgment on impulse. If you think you won’t get in trouble for speaking your mind, do it without raising your voice. While it is important to let people know your standpoint, it is also advisable not to do it in a hurtful manner. When we are angry, we tend to say or do things that do the maximum damage to the person or people we are against at that moment. Later we realize our mistake but it is too late by then. So stay quiet, take your time and think through the situation later, which will help you make rational decisions. angry

2. When you are going through bad times in your life: 

You are sad, depressed, have anxiety, you are simply going through some rough patches in your life. Whether you are financially broke, lost your job, struggling to get your dream career, going through break-ups, physically ill, or simply in a bad situation, don’t take very big steps during those tough times. People usually have low self-esteem during sad times and act desperately to get out of those situations quickly.  People in dire situations fall prey to con artists and scams. Family, society and peer pressure are also liable sometimes to make someone feel desperate in low times. But think for yourself, no matter how much life tests you, have patience. With patience and persistence, you can change your fate for the better. Drugs and alcohol also provoke bad judgment, so avoid these as well.

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One good example is- suppose, you have recently broken up from a long relationship and feel very lonely. Your family and friends are asking you to find someone as soon as possible and you are looking for another partner from a revengeful perspective. Take your time instead. Don’t get into another relationship out of desperation. It will be broken sooner than the last one. Get on a long term commitment when you think you’ve found the right person and you think you are ready. Until then, wait.

3. When you are super excited and happy: 

People tend to overestimate their abilities and tend to make big promises when they are super happy and excited. Your dark days are finally over and you are thankful for those people that have been next to you through this time. While you do want to give it back, remember that promises are often broken but attempts become rather successful.excited.png

One good example can be- If you have gone through some financial crisis in the recent past and now are financially stable, do not take up a higher standard of life right away and don’t promise-making big donations that you cannot keep up. Learn from your past experience and be frugal. Save money for a better future. And do help back those who have helped you but do what is affordable for you.

Moral: Patience is the key.

So I will write a different article on how to make good decisions. Stay tuned and share this article if you have enjoyed it.

Edit: I have already posted:

Life Hack Tips: HOW To Make Good Decisions (By Tasnia Ponkti)

Kora-The Heavenly Cat

Kora was my brother’s cat. She was adopted when she was a few months old. She is a very sweet and shy cat. You probably have seen countless mischievous cat videos online. But she is an exception. She does not give a hard time to anyone, stays mostly indoors, she has a few favorite spots around the house to sit and scratch. Her favorite list keeps changing but her all-time favorite space is always next to the windows.

She hides underneath the bed or sofa when she sees a stranger. She does not mingle with everyone but if she picks you then that means you are special. I’ve always loved cats but never had one of my own. So whenever I would go to visit my sister’s place (my brother lived in my sister’s home), I would spend time with Kora. My sister has two very sweet dogs as well. I am not a very big fan of big pets. All three of them (cat: Kora, dogs: Cheeky & Woofy) are small and very sweet animals. Spending time with Kora means basically watching TV or doing something on the laptop while she very cozily sits next to me slowly wagging her furry tail. But I never have seen her asking for attention, well, she did occasionally from my brother but not from the rest of us.

I would only see her occasionally and hear stories about her from my brother. Then a lot of things happened in my life. I finished my electrical engineering degree and went through a lot of job interviews. That time of job seeking and unemployment (or I should say underemployment) was rough. No, it was not like a fairy tale as everyone believes, you don’t always land a decent engineering job right away even if you are the best of students, come from a well-known school, have many “relevant” experience under your belt. That is a whole different story of how I overcame that short dark period and landed in something that was beyond my expectations at that time. So fast forward to everything that happened, let’s assume I got two job offers: Job A & B around the same time.  While I was at job A, I figured out in a few days that I am in a wrong place, got an offer from job B and was going through the employment process of Job B. Job A is not what was promised, career-wise not very fulfilling, pays a low salary and makes people work for an insane amount of hours without overtime pay (on exempt salary). Job B is a dream job for many to start their career in my field, it pays according to industry standard, great work-life balance, career-wise provides meaningful work and is located in a ridiculously gorgeous area. Job B takes time to process due to security clearance requirements. I was tired and fed up of being at A, it was sucking the life out of me and I was praying to God almighty to get me out of here ASAP. Finally, I could not take it anymore and decided to quit A and spend the remaining time of the job B process at my sister’s place.

My brother had moved to his college dorm, so I was staying in his room with his cat Kora. I did not inform anyone in detail except my mom about the job B offer. Because of the things that I have been through, it was hard to grasp at that time that this was happening to me, that I got an offer from them and it is just a matter of time to finish the clearance process. I have a clean slate so passing the extensive background check was not an issue for me. But I was still going through a mild depression because I did not know how much longer the process would take. There is a general time frame but because it defers for each individual, the officials would never say anything specific in an email or on the phone. There was another prospect of job C but they would only go forward if for some reason I would not finally go with job B.

So when I came to my sister’s place, I was an apparent idiot in my siblings’ eyes who quit her only job at that time. I said there is a possibility of job B but did not reveal yet that I got it and just waited for the process to be over.

The first day when I entered into my brother’s room I turned the light on and I saw Kora continuously meowing. I closed the door, sat on the bed and she is asking for attention, which is very unlikely of her. I texted my brother and he replied how Kora misses his company because my brother is not home anymore except for the weekend. Kora does not mingle with other family members. I think cats have this strong sense about who loves them and they would only seek those people. I took her in my lap and rubbed her belly and as she was purring, I was crying. I knew deep down that I did not do anything wrong by quitting that job but I was stressing on the fact that “what if” something goes wrong and I don’t get a start date from job B? Vacationing in a relative’s house is different than living in there during your hard time.

In the middle of the night, Kora would wake me up, tap my hands asking to pet her, kiss my nose with her nose and rub her scent on me with her head. I would gently pet her and calm her down. I would imagine if I die now I can go to heaven with this cat, I would contemplate she and I are sitting next to a heavenly tropical waterfall. Then I discovered, whenever I was depressed, she would ask me to pet her. As if she is trying to divert my attention from negative thoughts. Animals do have telepathy. I believe that.

That evening was her playtime. I would point laser light on the floor, on the wall and she would try to catch it. There were other cat toys too, to play with her. Every day she would very promptly during that time ask me to play with her. At first, I did not understand, why all of a sudden it seemed like she was trying to verbally communicate through her meowing. My brother said she is asking for something. She does not do that to everyone but asks me because she knows how I was taking care of her. I thought that was very adorable.

Then finally that day came when I heard the good news of getting a start date from job B. Thank goodness it was only a few weeks and my prayers were answered. It was time for me to move on. I was supposed to adopt Kora in my brother’s absence. That seemed most appropriate. But renting in San Diego is a whole different story. I live in northern California. While San Diego is not San Francisco, I know, it is still very expensive, especially the main San Diego county area. And why wouldn’t it be, it is the happiest and the most vibrant place in the United States. The beauty, the beaches, the Pacific ocean, the crisp and wonderful weather, so many things to do here. But bringing your own pet is a special struggle for a renter, most properties don’t allow pets if they do they must be cats or small dogs but with a high deposit and monthly extra fees. I could not afford it at that time. One of my co-workers suggested that I could adopt her as an assistive animal. And why not, she is a very therapeutic cat. But I thought about that and figured out, I am very busy and I don’t have much time to look after her. She would have to spend all day in a tiny apartment that I am currently in. It won’t be much different than her current situation in my brother’s absence. I want her to stay in a better place where she is better-taken care of.

So we decided to give her up for adoption. She is in a different place now. Wherever she is, I hope she is having a great time, getting all the love and care that she deserves. Thanks, Kora for giving me company during a tough time!

Dolores Barrios- Alien Woman!?

I wrote this post from a very subjective point of view. I am a skeptic for most UFO/ET BS. Although I write on a wide variety of topics, for some very weird reason, this is one of my most viewed articles on this blog-which tells me that there are far too many UFO/ET enthusiasts out there.

I have always been an uber-nerd and have been reading and taking part in space and “sciency” discussions for as long as I can remember. More recently I have been spending part of my spare time reading a lot of “space-related” theoretical physics and metaphysics topics. Now, this is a subject where only a few things have been scientifically proven and there is a wide majority of topics that need to be explored. And no matter how much more advanced or evolved we-human civilization becomes, we can just never have enough knowledge and discovery of this vast and ever-expanding universe. Because of that reason, there is way more garbage than true authentic information around the internet. The Internet is nowadays the mother of all knowledge. But that also means we sometimes care less about the credibility of the information presented, and more about the content.

Anyways, one of my interesting finds on the internet has been about life on other planets/etc. I will present more of these weird findings and my own opinion later. But today I am going to focus on this fascinating lady named Dolores Barrios. I was watching YouTube videos and found this commercial a few times about something called “Cosmic Disclosure: Gaia”. Probably you have seen it or will see it as an advertisement. There they are talking about Nordic Aliens’ secret civilization and “these” Nordic-looking beings while showing this lady-Dolores Barrios’ photo. I did not even know her name or where or how to find information about her at that point but her face stuck in my head. I thought, “OMG! Look at her. What a unique pretty face!” Her face seems very much human but there is something about her.

alien-woman

I have been reading and watching videos back and forth about Billy Meiers’ Case, Bashar by Darryl Anka, Betty and Bernie Hill and many many other alien contactees and abductees (perhaps I will discuss them later in my other posts as well). But as far as I have found, this whole UFO trend started around 1940-50s and continued to stay as a so-called “new age” hot topic up until the late 80’s or early ’90s. Since then, things have thwarted a bit for various global socio-political reasons.

But George Adamski is kind of like a pioneer (or one of the pioneers) in this UFO/Alien contacts/abduction case. He claimed to have contact with Venusians. This was not known back in the ’50s, but now we all know that Venus is an uninhabitable planet for us due to its close proximity to the sun and extreme environment (Click on this link for more info: Life on Venus). UFO-Undefined Flying Objects do not necessarily need to be alien spacecraft. That is what we think by default. Either Adamski himself was a con artist or those so-called Venusians were con artists pretending to be aliens. Or it might just be an arrangement between them to con people.

Adamski was presenting his case at this UFO conference back in 1954 in California, where this exotic looking lady along with two other men appeared in that event. Just search with her name “Dolores Barrios” on google and you will find enough information.  People have been scrutinizing her photos, postures, etc. (Check this link: Do you remember Dolores Barrios, the woman from the planet Venus??? ). The other two men are pretty normal looking IMO.

What is my take on this? I am very skeptical and I don’t believe just about anything without concrete evidence. Until this date, more of these UFO/ET related claims are, well, just claims. A lot of cosmology, astrology, spiritual concepts are mixed together with metaphysics and paranormal events in these types of claims which make this whole topic a hot mess. Sorry for my strong use of words! I don’t think this lady is Venusian or Nordic Alien or Pleiadian. She does have a very distinctive-almost pillar-shaped nose, her eyes are far apart and she has a broad forehead. She has absolutely beautiful- big eyes and nice fuller lips. The expression seems much more human and humble. If you search more about the typical feature of Nordic aliens, a lot of contactees claim some of these common physical traits (tall built, long nose, long face, far apart big eyes, big forehead, attractive looking etc, in majority of the suspects of the cases have luminous blue eyes and very pale skin and hair). But for me, she is just a beautiful lady. It seems like even an alien wears eyeliner and possibly fake eyelashes, eh! Some people around the internet (and also in the link that I provided above) pointed out from this standing pose picture below, that she is probably a male alien disguised as a female and they have presented their reasoning. But I think I have seen a lot of tall, athletic-looking ladies who don’t have very feminine figures but have beautiful faces.  I think most runway supermodels are tall and lanky. So it does not seem very odd to me.

alien-woman-2

If we really have to suspect all slightly unique looking individuals as aliens, then the presence of these alien beings is probably far too common among us than we think. That brings us to the next question, do we know where we are coming from? Are most of us aliens? I find all the claims about star-seeds total bullshit.

Tell me in the comment about your opinion on this lady. Also, if you are into Sci-Fi short stories about ET/Aliens/Star-beings/Pleiadians etc, check this out:

Timeline Travelers: A bizarre journey of two alien contactees (Inter-Galactic Saga Book 1) Kindle Edition

Also, read other popular posts related to this kind of topic:

Was Billy Meier hoaxed by some German blondes?

Bashar by Darryl Anka- A pro-con artist?

Timeline Travelers: A bizarre journey of two alien contactees (Inter-Galactic Saga Book 1) Kindle Edition

Is Dr. Greer a Fraud?

If you like fictional Sci-Fi stories:

A Date Night in Mars

Martian Tabloid (Game of Thrones)

 

Life Hack Tips: Task Management & Productivity (from a lazy person’s guide)

I am not calling anyone out lazy but I am simply sharing my own experience as a lazy person. I have finished school and have a full time job as an engineer now. My image among my peers and co-workers is portrayed as a hardworking and disciplined person. Disciplined, organized and lazy they don’t seem to fit in the same sentence, do they? But I am originally lazy, yet at the same time have a competitive nature. The competition is not with someone else but rather with myself. There is another thing that works behind that competitive mentality and that is called-anxiety, fear of screwing things up. Now that is a whole different topic, which I will touch another day. Because of my competitive mind, I push myself to be pro-active and a go-getter. I haven’t reached perfection at every level but have made a lot of progress following my own tricks in the past few years.

In my own experience, the number one rule of success in life is called “persistence & perseverance”. In an age of social media, our biggest challenge is to stay on top of our goals without getting distracted. How many of you have thought that, when you get home you will study a bit more about certain topics or get certain things done, yet end up wasting time surfing through Facebook wall, Instagram feed and YouTube videos? Well, I am no exception. I still do that. And I have my own fair share of days when I get pretty much wasted without getting much done. I also have days when I am a peak performer. On those days not only I get most of my things done, sometimes I do even more than I planned.

These are the simple steps that I take.

1. Make a To-Do List:

I know some of you will say you have tried that and it doesn’t quite work for you, you wanna go with the flow blah blah. But it is important to prioritize work specially when you are juggling through multiple tasks. You can go fancy by using alarms, event reminders, to-do-list on your phone etc. But I simply write my things down with a pen on a notebook. Writing with hands does something to me, It helps me remember my tasks. As if I am stacking those list in my brain instead of in the notebook. I don’t even have to carry my notebook with me for the day, I remember it anyway after brainstorming and writing them down. I think that should be the goal. My mom makes a grocery list, forgets to bring it to the store and ends up buying more stuff than she listed while missing some important ingredients. LOL. So your goal is to remember your tasks, no matter how you do it. I make a rough weekly plan and also specific daily plans as well as a monthly plan for paying bills on time. Checking things off from the list as I get them done is very fulfilling to me. I divide a big task into smaller chunks and prioritize them. Make “sorting emails” an important part of your list whether it is work email or your other emails. Checking emails and replying promptly helps you get an idea of the work, event or correspondence that you will follow to keep up.

2. Stick to your plan:

Half of doing is believing that you can.

We have all probably made plans but sticking to the plan is the biggest challenge. Read the written list in between your down time to keep yourself on track. Make or read a list and try if you can back to your leisure. I don’t know about you, but it is almost like some alarm clocks start ticking in my head from the moment I make up my mind about getting something done. And I cannot relax in the same way after that.  I do use alarms and reminder occasionally for big events.  I am big about finishing things before deadline. I also reward myself in between tasks-whether it is food or snack, stretching, walking, checking on phones or listening to some music etc.

I must emphasize, please do not keep changing your plan just because it was hard for you to keep up with it the first time. Stick to it, make smaller flexible changes as you need and learn though your trials and errors. Learning to write computer programming? Playing piano? No matter how bad you are at first, stick to your plan and keep a track of your progress. The key behind success is steady progress. I see it quite often among highly intelligent people juggling through ideas and changing them way too quickly which ends up with no result.

3. Stay away from social media while you are at your work:

Now I am blessed because I cannot take any phone or outside devices to my labs or main work premises and our usage of internet is limited to work related email and research. Because I don’t have any choice of checking on my Facebook wall, Quora or Instagram feed, I use the time very efficiently at work. Without those distraction we tend to get things done faster. So if your work place is not like mine then turn off your phone/put it on silent mode or deactivate your social media accounts while you are in some serious business. Deactivate all phone notifications. Or just better if you don’t have any social media account to begin with. Sounds a bit archaic but if that makes you more productive then go for it. I do use social media in my advantage, to keep up with the updates, to keep in touch but try to control the over-usage.

4. Keep a diary:

You can keep a to do list and diary all in the same notebook or you can separate it by categories. One for work and one for home. If you are keeping a diary at work then refrain from writing too much personal details. The idea is to keep a track of the task progress in your own words.If you are multi/bi-lingual, working in an English speaking country, you can write in your own native language. I personally find writing diaries in my own language very therapeutic. At home I write diaries to vent but still refrain using too much personal details and names. As long as I understand what I write is fine for me. I write down important details and events that took place that day and I also write down possible outcome of a future event (!). I know it might sound interesting but even though sometimes things don’t go exactly as I planned, it makes me mentally prepared for the worse. For example, If I write I won’t lose temper in a certain ongoing stressful situation, I do see myself keeping a calm demeanor throughout the day.

4. Other things you can do to be more productive

Getting rid of stress is very important to be productive. Although I am not very religious, I pray to de-stress. No matter what religion you follow (or don’t follow anything), take some time to do some prayers or meditation everyday. Spend some quiet time with your self. Shut those chatter and noises in your head. The simple rule to relax your brain is, if in the back of your head you are thinking about some possible (worse) outcome of an imaginary situation, don’t follow through. simply change your mind from it. Or just write it down in your diary-what is bothering you.

I do travel, take a walk by the beach (I live in San Diego), take pictures, enjoy fine dining, like to cook, like to dress well, get a massage, read a book, write etc. Coffee is important to me. It keeps me going. Although I have skipped breakfast in the past (which is very bad), now-a-days I take the time to eat something healthy in the morning. Usually few hours in the morning are pick hours to be most productive. So when you have a breakfast, not only you feel more energetic during that time, you also end up eating less at lunch. I am trying to get into a routine of exercising. I do walk regularly. If it is hard for you to fall asleep at night faster, I would suggest finish dinner by 6 pm, do a bit of exercise, take a quick shower, write few lines or read few pages of a book, it should be enough to make you tired and go to sleep. Proper sleep and diet is important. I did not always have a sound sleep and proper diet during my hectic college years. But these are pretty staple to stay energetic and active.

Now-a-days I don’t get much time to draw pictures but I  used to spend down time in creative art before. Now-a-days I read about technologies or do some side gig in my down time. If you have some creative hobbies, keep up with it on the side. Have a pet! I I love puppies and kittens. Currently I don’t have a pet but I spent times with my siblings’ pets a lot. Having pets are very relaxing. Some people make a bed or clean table to de-stress. It does not work for me but it might work for you.

Share in the comment if you have more exciting ideas or tips to stay focused on your daily goals.