Tag: anxiety

Conquering Personal Demons (Patreon Content)

People die only once.

But the ones who battle depression and anxiety, experience little death each moment.

It feels as if I am standing alone late at night on a lonely platform with a ticket and a luggage in my hand to board the only train which just left me.

I stand there in the cold night, feeling lonely and hollow inside with despair.

I prepare myself to board the next train, and it arrives soon.

But that feeling of hollowness stays somewhere within, which I never want to relive ever in my life.

(To be continued……)

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Cherishing The Time of My Struggle

Yes, I was there where some of you are right now. And my life struggle is not over yet, it won’t be over until I die. But as long as we live, no matter what happens in our lives we always keep moving forward to the next phase. While we work very hard to get our next goal, as soon as we get it, we human beings are so ungrateful that we get used to it very fast. We always think, “Okay, now what’s next?” But seldom we reflect on how far we have come in life.

Right now as I am writing this, I am sitting on my bed in a super tiny studio apartment in San Diego. I am a single lady, thinking of my next move in life. I want to find a good life partner and get married. How long do I want to live alone and pay high rent? It is time to get a house and start a family.

As I plan forward for my next life events- I feel slightly impatient. But as of right now-I finished an electrical engineering degree from a pretty well-known school in my career field, bagged a wonderful-stable-career job, got almost a couple of years worth of experience doing the dream stuff I once aspired to do. I am independent and no one is there to tell me what to do with my life.

Right now I am recalling one of those evenings after my graduation. I dipped my feet in the Jacuzzi of our apartment complex, looking at my phone but not really looking, my mind was racing with anxiety of the unknown. I was thinking, “What will happen to me? Why am I not getting any responses from those companies-especially the DoD jobs? How long do they take? Am I already rejected? I had to borrow money from my mom to pay the next month’s bill. How long will this continue?” I breathed a sigh of grief-the one that takes you to the path of depression, the one that makes you feel that none of your attempts are apparently working.

Long story short-I came far far away from that point. And I had many countless of these struggles in my life. I think I should write a series on just those high and low points in my life. No one would believe but deep down, even when things were not working the way I expected-I knew that at the end I will be fine. I always believed in some kind of an end game. If it did not ended well-to me that is not the end. You gotta have trust in something-in you, in God or whatever. I always had trust in God almighty’s master plan- the one that he created for me.

If I knew back then what I have achieved now, I would not spend my free time in tension and anxiety. Instead I would cheer myself up with a pat in the back. I would tell myself that I am doing great and I am portraying the best example of me while struggling.

If I am still alive and well a few years from now, probably I will be upset with my child or my hubby with something trivial and probably I will forget that once I had desired for this very moment in my life. Now that I know from my past experience, instead of being stressed I am enjoying this moment of uncertainty.

bryant-mcgill-your-struggle-strength

Life Hack Tips: When you should NOT make a big decision

Being decisive is one of the greatest gifts of life. People who can make the right decisions for important events in their lives, achieve more success and happiness. Sometimes we do have to act quickly at the moment. But if you have the choice of taking your time, avoid making big decisions during these three periods below:

1. When you are angry:  

When we are mad, we tend to act at the spur of the moment which sometimes does irreparable damage that cannot be undone later. It is important not to lose your calm and not to make a bad judgment on impulse. If you think you won’t get in trouble for speaking your mind, do it without raising your voice. While it is important to let people know your standpoint, it is also advisable not to do it in a hurtful manner. When we are angry, we tend to say or do things that do the maximum damage to the person or people we are against at that moment. Later we realize our mistake but it is too late by then. So stay quiet, take your time and think through the situation later, which will help you make rational decisions. angry

2. When you are going through bad times in your life: 

You are sad, depressed, have anxiety, you are simply going through some rough patches in your life. Whether you are financially broke, lost your job, struggling to get your dream career, going through break-ups, physically ill, or simply in a bad situation, don’t take very big steps during those tough times. People usually have low self-esteem during sad times and act desperately to get out of those situations quickly.  People in dire situations fall prey to con artists and scams. Family, society and peer pressure are also liable sometimes to make someone feel desperate in low times. But think for yourself, no matter how much life tests you, have patience. With patience and persistence, you can change your fate for the better. Drugs and alcohol also provoke bad judgment, so avoid these as well.

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One good example is- suppose, you have recently broken up from a long relationship and feel very lonely. Your family and friends are asking you to find someone as soon as possible and you are looking for another partner from a revengeful perspective. Take your time instead. Don’t get into another relationship out of desperation. It will be broken sooner than the last one. Get on a long term commitment when you think you’ve found the right person and you think you are ready. Until then, wait.

3. When you are super excited and happy: 

People tend to overestimate their abilities and tend to make big promises when they are super happy and excited. Your dark days are finally over and you are thankful for those people that have been next to you through this time. While you do want to give it back, remember that promises are often broken but attempts become rather successful.excited.png

One good example can be- If you have gone through some financial crisis in the recent past and now are financially stable, do not take up a higher standard of life right away and don’t promise-making big donations that you cannot keep up. Learn from your past experience and be frugal. Save money for a better future. And do help back those who have helped you but do what is affordable for you.

Moral: Patience is the key.

So I will write a different article on how to make good decisions. Stay tuned and share this article if you have enjoyed it.

Edit: I have already posted:

Life Hack Tips: HOW To Make Good Decisions (By Tasnia Ponkti)