life hack – My World

When My Mind and My Heart Align

Oftentimes, it feels like my mind and my heart are in disagreement.

My mind is like a critical parent telling me what’s practical and what is doable.

My heart is like a child in a fantasy land which wants everything nice and pretty.

When I follow my mind, the little child inside me is not happy, it is constantly aching.

When I try to follow the child’s ideals, I fall on my face and bruise myself.

The rare moments happen when both the parent and the child agree on something.

It feels like the entire universe aligns for me when my mind and my heart align.

So now-a-days people call me picky and perfectionist, but I wait patiently for my mind and my heart’s agreement on things, as both the parent and the child must work together.

Indeed the grand vision of my life is fulfilled when every part of me is in harmony with one another.

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

I have introduced the basic framework before, which I am about to refer to – in this blog post. So if you have not read it, check this post first:

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

Hopefully, I will write this type of posts for all types eventually. But because I am an INTJ personality type myself, I thought it is better to start with INTJ.

So without any further ado, here it is-

INTJ’s Cognitive Functions:

Ni>Te>Fi>Se

When it is interpreted in terms of our 4 point model it becomes:

Autonomy(Ni)<Mastery(Te)<Impact(Fi)<Recognition(Se)

Now, this order is not the same for everyone, which means that some might reach mastery before autonomy, or recognition before impact etc.

But the main idea of this model is, one of these 4 points is the most important to you according to your primary or talent function and the second or auxiliary function is the key to success because it is a growth function.

Usually, 1st and 2nd functions make about 90% of your personality and you reach your full potential when you develop your third and fourth function.

INTJs are forward-thinking, insightful, visionary, original, big picture driven and independent due to their first Ni aka perspective function. So naturally, they should seek careers which enable them to exercise their autonomous traits. Usually, people work up the ladder to reach autonomy in their careers. But INTJs are well-equipped with this trait! So listen up fellow INTJs, we gotta learn how to take calculative risks and turn our out-of-the-box ideas into reality. In fact, we should actually make them happen, which brings us to the next part.

INTJ’s second function is Te aka effectiveness. An ideal INTJ with a fully developed and exercised Te function knows how to get sh*t done and builds a track record of accomplishing great things. A lot of INTJs, due to being introverted, struggle with making their ideas into reality. So INTJs should gain mastery of bringing ideas into reality in the most effective way possible. That mastery may or may not be about a certain skill but rather should be about whatever needs to be done to accomplish a goal. INTJs are prone to learn and do everything on their own, which is great. I believe in that approach since I want to lead by example and I should know how to do certain things myself so that I can gain insight into the big picture and hence can lead better. But we have to remember that we should do things which makes an impact in a larger way and for that as INTJs we have to learn to inspire and guide others better. Speaking of making an impact, brings us to our next point.

Yes, INTJs are the jack-of-all-trades. They can get anything done, whatever they put their minds and hearts into. But it is also important that they do things which are valuable to them according to their own authentic (Fi) standards. Because that will help bring quality in a product or service. For example, this blog post is intended to help other INTJs maximize their career potentials but I have also written it because I am a Jungian Cognitive Function Enthusiast. As an engineering professional, I do things keeping the end goal or product in mind but that product or goal is also authentic to me. INTJs are better equipped to positively impact humanity by making a quality product or service. And the best part is when the lone wolf INTJ learns how to work with others or lead a team to make big things happen.

The last one is recognition. Some might define Te as recognition in terms of achievements but I am referring to the finer materialistic things in life here. INTJs are among the least sensory people due to their inferior Se function but they do have fine taste in things which bring sensory gratifications. Ni/Fi function influences that aspect too. But INTJs rightfully deserve the name, fame, money, property etc after all the hard work they put. But INTJs should be careful not to overindulge or become ruthless in seeking materialistic means only.

Thanks for reading…

I hope you enjoyed.

I will try to write a similar type of posts for other types in the near future. Stay tuned.

Read:

Of, By, For The INTJ: A self-help quick reference guide for INTJ personality type via Jungian Cognitive Functions – Kindle edition by Tasnia Ponkti. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com

There is a part two:

An INTJ’s Perspective: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 1)

Just an FYI: Part two of my eBook series has been published

TL;DR (you can just read the highlighted text, also make sure to scroll all the way at the bottom to read other posts and find our INTJ related sponsored products).

Or you can jump right into part 2 below if you came here to understand the acknowledgement part from my eBook:

Science or Pseudoscience: Jungian Cognitive Functions (Part 2)

* This is my personal blog and the views expressed here are purely subjective. I hope to write on this topic in several parts to shed lights on how I am “strategically” using Jungian concepts in my personal development with an unique creative approach. My personal findings, opinion and insights might help others who are in the same journey with me. It is gonna be long. So brace yourself.*

In my opinion, any kind of type or categorization theory is not made to forcefully condition ourselves to behave according to our types but to identify our strengths to overcome our weaknesses.

This part will address my personal experience of being an INTJ and the confusion of being labeled as other type besides INTJ. I see many people having the same issue. So I hope this will erase some confusion for many. In later parts I will discuss my own personal development techniques.

I had always tested as an INTJ. Even before I was introduced with MBTI personality types I always knew in my head that I am different and I do not quite blend in the crowd even when I am trying very hard. And I feel less authentic and more artificial when I try to be like someone else. Being different as an INTJ means more than just being introverted and seemingly detached.

The first time I was introduced with Jungian Cognitive Functions and MBTI in a psychology class during my engineering undergrad. I am very much into engineering but since I love art, history, theater and psychology- I took these classes to fulfill my general education requirements. And I had a lot of fun learning about human psychology and behavior. I took the official typology test as well as many other personality type tests and I tested as an INTJ all the time. I did not put much thought about it during that time except for the fact that I found the result more insightful about myself. There are other types of personality tests but I find Jungian types more useful because of the use of cognitive functions.

More recently my brother who is an ENFP, brought this topic to my attention. He described in his own opinionated way that, while zodiac signs are complete bullshit and they mostly serve to some vague confirmation biases about one’s self, MBTI types go a bit into depth on how each person “might” function on a regular basis.

The reason why I didn’t invest too much time into MBTI results during my psychology class, because (forget about zodiac signs) I am a skeptic even about type theories. I use different theories as an initial tool, when I am done digging deeper with my analysis, I go ahead and build my own opinion and theory about things (whether positive or negative). Then I try to use the good part strategically in my personal life. It is almost like I am using the best resources, equipment or tools available (even though I am not completely satisfied with it) to solve a current problem and later I can use my experience to make something on my own-kind of like how I usually do my professional job. And I don’t know if it is a coincidence that I am an INTJ-A type Capricorn female although I denounce both astrological and psychological concepts to a certain extent. The usual stereotypes found common for Capricorn and INTJ are- strategic, hardworking, ambitious and insightful. Or may be I consciously chose myself to be that way predominately.

Bottom line is, end of the day none of them help you predict a person’s intention but they might at least give you a hope to classify people into different categories to learn about their behavioral patterns. Yes, hope is a big word. But a lot of things affect our actions and behavior such as current good or bad situations, physical and mental health, life circumstances, past experiences, influences of close people, environment, personal and traditional values etc.

So recently I started taking a second look at type theories but now I am going in depth primarily on Jungian major 8 type of cognitive functions based on which MBTI types and questionnaires are made. Each personality type has 4 major cognitive functions according to that theory. I read it somewhere that our cognitive functions do not fully develop up until our mid-30’s. So when we are young and have not gathered enough life experiences (or perhaps have been through life changing experiences), it is fairly possible that we are in reality one type but test as another type. So my take on that is to study the cognitive functions of all types to identify our natural preferences and then we should very honestly take the test even if we do not like the answers.

It is my opinion that, unless we consciously choose to stick with one type, it is possible to develop our other unused cognitive functions. What I mean by that, is we all have all 8 cognitive functions: 4 of which, by the typology theory we use predominantly and we also use our shadow functions in time of stress and excitement. That means we act like our opposite personalities in rare occasions. But with careful self-development approach, I think, we can in fact develop our “unused” cognitive functions. However, the best practice is to stick with one type to avoid inconsistency and to embrace ourselves as one type and then work on our weaker functions to strengthen our talent functions.

For example, sometimes I find myself behaving like an ENTP when I am very excitedly exploring ideas and discussing an interesting topic. And it turns out that ENTP is my opposite personality type i,e ENTP’s 4 cognitive functions are my shadow functions-which also tells me that I am, in fact, correctly typed as an INTJ who occasionally uses shadow functions. Sometimes I am perceived as an ENTJ when I am super active- which is known as my sister type (or mirror type). And sometimes I feel like I should be more like an INFJ and out of the many tests I had taken I once tried very hard to be more of a feeler than a thinker just to see what happens if we are not honest in out test taking process. It turned out that I barely made it as an INFJ with a 49% T and 51% F ratio on the T-F spectrum! And because I have some INTP colleagues and I admire their attention to detail (and just like they admire my big picture thinking process), I sometimes think being an INTP wouldn’t be bad either. Many INTPs want to become INTJs because INTJs are typically perceived more as an insightful go-getter while INTPs are analytical intellectual people.

When an INTJ and ENTP have conversation both sound pretty similar. Both are very direct, very confident, very opinionated, have a crude sense of humor and can be perceived as intimidating by many. The difference is that INTJ’s brain work mostly like a switch. They do not always open their mouth unless they are testing their ideas in the public without giving out their big motivation and goals or they are debating because they are confident in their conclusion about a topic which came from their personal research and insights. It is very much possible for an INTJ to stay quiet and all of a sudden almost lighting up at a topic of interest and genuinely sharing their insights which sounds very strong and opinionated to some listeners. They usually talk (if and when they do talk) in terms of high-level perspective. My mom after all these years of observing me came up with a very intelligent conclusion on her own and she does not know anything about MBTI and Jungian theories. She said about me, that if I”casually” bring a topic over and over again then that means I am genuinely working hard behind it but if I come up with a very strong opinion, chances are I am done with the process-so that opinion is not just a mere opinion but the conclusion of my findings.

So while an ENTP might just debates and discusses ideas for the sole purpose of exploration and learning from the conversation, an INTJ however, does this-either with a mission in head or just to share their critical insights. INTJs are also very secretive and they like to hide their original ideas from people. INTJs do not like to debate and often deem their opinion as right which might seem purely subjective to other NT or even NF types at first. But majority of their overarching statements with deep analysis come true. Because INTJs are so much future oriented that sometimes they just do not have the right words or means to express themselves. So while ENTP can still be perceived as a bit warmer (because of their Fe function), INTJ can come of as “know-it-all” arrogant. But both party is mostly trying to be as direct as possible without the intention of being rude.

Since Te is my growth functions, when I am getting things done I can be perceived as very commanding which is like an ENTJ. But before implementing my ideas into reality I take some time in contemplation an draw my inspiration from my Ni function. Because majority of the population is more sensory than intuitive and prefer extroversion over introversion- they don’t understand the mindset of a contemplating detached person. The very stereotypical label for that kind of a person is “moody”. But for a person like me- day dreaming and contemplation is an important part of my process. An INTJ who is doing a lot of sensory type work for a long period of time without any adequate break can feel him/herself being drained. Now-a-days I spend some time in contemplating, writing, meditating etc at my home everyday but try to be super-active at work to stay focused. That’s why without my “primary” presence of Ni I can seem as a Te dominant which is an ENTJ.

As a young INTJ (especially as a female) I have had my rough edges and I had been judged and labeled wrong my entire life. Because of some recent past life circumstances I went through some period of deep realization. I recently answered a question on Quora about how I changed the way I judge people now-a-days and that is usually by “good intention and sincere effort.” It is a very big realization for an INTJ because most of us, specially when we are young, cannot stand stupidity and inefficiency. So because of this spiritual transition I felt like I should have been more of an INFJ than and INTJ. But that is still my Fi function (known as authenticity) which I had mistaken as Fe (harmony). Also the usual stereotype about an INTJ is very strategic and systematic (they are rightfully known as “masterminds”) which gives an impression that they cannot like art, music, literature or even religion, philosophy etc which is a complete misconception. Some artist INTJ (because of this stereotype) associate themselves more with an INFJ (also known as Idealists) simply because they are artists or musician. Wrong! It is their authenticity (Fi) function which is responsible for their strong sense of moral values or beauty and their other strong(Ni/Te) and weaker(Se) functions help them in the process to become successful.

Anything which has some level of system and pattern- not only INTJ can master them, they can grow out of them and revamp the whole system in a more efficient and innovative way-be it music, art, engineering, sciences, writing etc etc. They have what I call a “structured creativity” and they are relentless in the use “some” of these talent in the outside world. I said “some” because not all ideas INTJs come up with are initially well-developed and are worth implementing. And also because INTJs are supremely competitive and critical about themselves. They are constantly refining their ideas and crafts inside. Some become so prone to perfection that they never come out of their shell and show the world the glimpse of their rich inner world. They think they are not ready yet since for them being ready means absolute perfection. INTJs who had decided to reach for excellence rather than perfection are thus more successful in life.

Lastly I want to talk about the difference among INTJ and INTP. How to tell them apart when both look pretty similar. The answer is the difference of dominant cognitive functions. In a general terms, how each of the type take action, what are each types’ strength and weaknesses-are usually the indicators of their type. An INTJs big dream is usually oriented towards the outer world. They want to use their gathered knowledge an perspective to solve a problem or create a product or service that impacts the world or (in an immediate realm) an organization, society or a country etc. I am pointing INTJs Te function. But INTPs gather knowledge and expertise mostly for their own personal growth. An INTP immediately points out specific flaws (Ti function) of an argument or problem and they are very good at troubleshooting, while the INTJ probably won’t even notice the detail at first (unless they are so experienced in the field that they have developed to use both Te/Ti functions) and will immediately try to solve the problem from a top down systematic hierarchy keeping the overall end goal in mind.

Because of this product and project oriented approach INTJs are deemed as assets in an organization although they are not personally liked by many people and often bosses are intimidated by them. While INTPs exude a bit more warmth because of their inferior Fe functions and usually are able to thrive in an environment which are less structured and their independent pursuit of knowledge can be useful.

Anyway, I hope from my own personal experience I have given you some insights on how I differentiate myself from different personality types which are similar to mine in some ways. On later parts I will discuss how I am using my analysis to help myself develop as a person.

There are many resources online for these topics. The images I have shared are from these sites:

MBTI in a nutshell

personalityhacker

I am sharing some of my favorite YouTube Channels:

If you are more into following a formula for personal development, check out

Personality Hacker’s YouTube channel: Personality Hacker

But if you like to gain more perspective about each type then check out Michael Pierce’s (who is probably an INFJ) channel: Michael Pierce

Most Important Post for INTJs:

eBook: Of, By, For The INTJ

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

A career guide for all types:

Four Points Career Goal Guide For All (MBTI) Myers Briggs Personality Types

Four Points Career Goal Guide for INTJ Personality Type

How I Deal With Toxic People & How You Should NOT

There are gazillions of posts and videos online about how to deal with toxic or negative people in your life. Today I will share my own perspective as an INTJ-A type female on how to deal with those “bad hombres” (saying it like our beloved(!) US president Donald J. Trump). But I do not recommend these same methods for you since they might turn your life upside down. My life is fine since it is already upside down! So read with a touch of humor and follow if needed with your own discretion.

Note:

If you are not familiar with 16 MBTI personality types, particularly INTJ-A/T types and what it means to be an INTJ-A female then click all the hyperlinks on this sentence that I have provided, although there are tons of information about this topic online.

My definition of toxic people might differ from yours. I label people as toxic or negative- who always have this ambiguous negative vibe about them, they are manipulative, has very high ego, they think they are always right, way too judgmental about others, jealous about others success/progress, selfish people who act altruistic, bullying others and always complaining and gossiping about others.

So without any further ado let’s get to the point on how to deal with them-

Ignore toxic people like plague and admit it when confronted

Yes, ignore toxic people like they don’t exist and make them second guess themselves about their own existence. So if they ask you why you are trying to ignore them, let them know in precise words why. Be brutally honest and show your detail analysis with appropriate data and chart- why you think they are bad people or what they have done wrong.

2. Show how much you (don’t) give a f**** about toxic people’s opinion

Yes, please! When manipulative people try to give you some bad advice as if they are in control of your life, tell them, “my life totally revolves around your opinion” and give this expression of the above GIF, unless you have a chance to get beaten up. Yes, people will call you a rude, sarcastic b****. But if you don’t care in the first place about people’s approval then you should not get offended.

3. F**** their bad vibes

Yes, screw bad people’s bad vibes by telling them, “I get a negative vibe from you, are you a good person or are you acting like one !?” At best, give them bad vibes back.

4. Speak sarcasm fluently

Yes, they say-“when you cannot convince them, confuse them”. So be diplomatic like everyone else. But if that is not your thing then, play dark humor with crude smile each time and measure toxic people’s intelligence level.

5. Be downright confrontational

This is too dangerous even as a humor! No, not like this picture above-but when none of the above method works and it is time for you to get to the point- then with your thorough patience and impeccable logic confront the bad people. Intimidate the f**** outta them and make them defeated. In fact, keep doing that until bad people stop bothering you with their bad presence.

Disclaimer:

This post should not be taken seriously.

Another weird but useful post just for you:

INTJ Daily Communication Hack

Introducing an eBook For INTJ

Life Hack Topic: Mindfulness

What is mindfulness? It is a state of being aware or conscious at the present moment. Why am I talking about this today? Because mindfulness is very important in our daily lives to be happy and successful. I attended a career development session last year and mindfulness was taught for about a few weeks with a lot of emphasis before moving on to resume writing and the job-hunting process.

Imagine you are attending a lecture or listening to your boss for some important instructions, but your mind is drifting away somewhere else. Or you made some serious mistakes because you were not paying attention. Just one small mistake one day can make you pay a big price. So it is extremely important to concentrate better, to be mindful, to be awake at the present moment (however you want me to describe). One of the keys to success is effective listening and we need to be mindful in order to listen better.

Some spiritual coaches talk about consciousness and they use a lot of fancy words and claim they can help people become more aware of themselves. In all essence, they are talking about mindfulness.

Why is it hard for a lot of us to be mindful? If you notice carefully, when we are not mindful, we are either thinking about some past events or some imaginary future events. We think about the past because-either we want to re-live some happy moments or we wish we could have changed certain things of the past. We contemplate the future because we are either planning something or we are suspecting something good or bad might happen. Now we cannot change anything in the past nor do we have any control over the future. So why spoil the present moment for things which are not in our control? The worst part is, when we are stressed, we tend to be less mindful.

How do you become mindful? I am sharing with you a very simple trick. Whenever you find yourself lacking focus, just breathe in and breathe out, bring your concentration to your breathing exercise for a few moments. Let all other thoughts pass. Activate your senses while you are doing it. Try not to think of anything else. Just concentrate on your existence. Do this simple trick everyday everywhere. It will be hard at first, you will find yourself going in and out of your awareness. But don’t give up, keep practicing. You can spend some quiet time every day doing this mindfulness meditation. Prayers do help a lot as well if you have any particular faith. But you should always be doing this, whenever you are finding yourself not paying enough attention.

Life Hack Tips: HOW To Make Good Decisions

Previously I have posted an article about when we should avoid making important life decisions. If you have not read it, then check this out:

Life Hack Tips: When you should NOT make a big decision (by Tasnia Ponkti)

As I promised there, I am writing a follow-up article on “how” to make good decisions in life. It is going to be a long post, so bear with me. These are the 7 vital steps to make good decisions in life:

1. Know what you want in your life:

Some people find it really difficult to figure out exactly what they want in life. Everyone should have an underlying constitution in their life. What do I mean by that? The Constitution does not change very often with every small change. So your personal values should not change with every step that you take in your life.

For example, let us think about career options. Well, what kind of person are you? What really hooks you when you think about career planning? Is it money, fame, honor, wisdom or is it power? Do not do something because the rest of society is doing it or your family and peers want you to do it.

2. Do your own research:

It is important to be resourceful and informative before making a decision. This is related to the previous point. My mother says, “In order to know what you don’t know, you must know something.” It is important to ask the right questions. How do you start asking the right questions? By knowing your available options and gathering information about those options. Evaluate the pros and cons of a decision.

For example, I frequently answer this type of question on Quora. People ask questions like what are the minimum requirements of a certain university in a certain department? The real answer is, it should already be listed on that university’s official website. That is where doing your own research and gathering basic information comes into play. Now suppose you are deciding your options of attending colleges and you have already been selected into a handful of them. Now how do you make the final decision? In no particular order, the aspects would be major/field, educational value, the rank of the school, ROI (return of investments i.e the current prospects of alumni), cost of attendance and cost of living in the area, weather, vibe and atmosphere of the campus, professors rating, etc. Note that you have to re-arrange these options based on your priority and you also need to physically tour the campus to make your decision.

3.Seek an expert’s opinion/help:

It is more like seeking experts and experienced people’s opinions, but at the end of the day make your own decision. Whether it is about education or renting/buying a house, or starting a new career (I have found from my personal experience that) sometimes there are options available beyond what people think they know. Everyone’s advice is somewhat subjective based on their own experience or personal hidden motives but still, it is important to ask the same question to many people around to get different perspectives and honest criticism. From my harsh personal experience, I have faced many discouragements and many rejections, and sometimes heavy criticism from people including closed ones. Whether it was about moving to a new place or applying to a more competitive university or a job- I heard a lot of “no”s because people thought I simply did not have what it takes. That is when my own resourcefulness came in handy. I still kept trying via different options and finally got what I wanted.

Another thing I have learned, just because someone thinks they are the expert or spent some time in a given career field, does not necessarily mean they can correctly predict everything about a new career option. Which means sometimes there are just no experts and you become your own expert. Have you ever read the monkey’s story? Sometimes people also discourage because they think you cannot do it, as they have never done it or they just don’t want you to do it. So if you are pursuing something very ambitious, keep your ultimate goal to yourself, while you still seek advice from different people. Take advice but do not get persuaded by one-sided strong opinions.

4. Think rationally but do not over-analyze situations:

While it is important to think rationally and seek different views from people, there are certain things in life we tend to make worse, when we over-analyze. Especially when it comes to selecting a partner for a long-term relationship. Trust your instinct or gut feeling. If you have doubts about a certain person, chances are there is something wrong. Our intuition is a gift to us, so it is better to use it when it is required. It is important to listen effectively, observe people and situation analytically. We have to use a balance of rationality and intuition in most cases. There is nothing wrong with being emotional but it needs to be in check.

5. Take action:

Now that you have researched all your options, asked for advice, thought about critically using your best judgment, narrowed down to your final decision about what you want in your life-finally it is time to simply just do it. This is the hardest part for many of us. With the advent of the internet and so many online resources, we sometimes spend a lot of time trying to find a solution but somehow still put the final action on hold. Chances are, if you are reading this, you are doing it as well.

For example, I have spent some time thinking about blogging. Like many of you, I searched many online posts about how to blog, top topics to blog, how to make money by blogging…blah blah, etc. Finally, I thought, isn’t it enough that I love to write as a hobby? And should I just do it for the pure fun of writing and sharing my thoughts? Then I started doing it. Once you start on something, it gets easier to continue even after some initial trials and errors.

6. Be positive, patient and persistent:

Everyone wants to see the result quickly. I was talking about blogging in the previous point. But it’s not just blogging; anything, almost anything good in life, takes time to prosper and grow. Nothing happens overnight. It is really hard to be positive and patient while you are going through a lot in life and want to see the immediate results. Persistence is a whole new level of skill which transforms an ordinary newbie into a successful expert in the field. I have seen many intelligent people lack this skill, which reminds me that persistence is more important than talent or intelligence to succeed in life.

For example, suppose you are looking for a job in your career and have sent hundreds and thousands of applications. You are unemployed or under-employed for a long time. It is hard for you to smile with positivity and act like you are fine while deep down you are feeling the burning of financial stress every moment. No matter how hard the battle gets, keep doing what you’re doing. Keep tweaking your process. If you are sending so many applications and receiving no interview calls, chances are, you are desperately trying almost anything and not what you are really good at. Narrow down your job search based on your field of specialization and your area of interest. Do not send the same generic resume/CV everywhere. People talk about networking so much these days. What is it really? It is about finding the right-minded people in your career who will guide and champion you to your next career destination. Find those people and keep sharing your goals and ideas with them. I personally got into places just by having a conversation about my ideas.

7. Accept the failure and keep moving on:

Did I mention trial and error in one of my previous points? One of the biggest tests of patience is accepting failure and keep going. The reason why we spend so much time seeking answers and not taking action is that we fear failure. Learn from yours and others’ mistakes, make the changes you need to make in your approach and no matter what happens, keep moving on. Never change your goal but be ready to change your methods to reach it. Never stop. You never know how close you are to your destination. I have seen many people giving up when they were very close to reaching their goals. Remember, the final few steps are always harder.

Note that numbers 5, 6 & 7 are part of being a farm in the decision.

Thanks for reading.

Life Hack Tips: When you should NOT make a big decision

Being decisive is one of the greatest gifts of life. People who can make the right decisions for important events in their lives, achieve more success and happiness. Sometimes we do have to act quickly at the moment. But if you have the choice of taking your time, avoid making big decisions during these three periods below:

1. When you are angry:

When we are mad, we tend to act at the spur of the moment which sometimes does irreparable damage that cannot be undone later. It is important not to lose your calm and not to make a bad judgment on impulse. If you think you won’t get in trouble for speaking your mind, do it without raising your voice. While it is important to let people know your standpoint, it is also advisable not to do it in a hurtful manner. When we are angry, we tend to say or do things that do the maximum damage to the person or people we are against at that moment. Later we realize our mistake but it is too late by then. So stay quiet, take your time and think through the situation later, which will help you make rational decisions.

2. When you are going through bad times in your life:

You are sad, depressed, have anxiety, you are simply going through some rough patches in your life. Whether you are financially broke, lost your job, struggling to get your dream career, going through break-ups, physically ill, or simply in a bad situation, don’t take very big steps during those tough times. People usually have low self-esteem during sad times and act desperately to get out of those situations quickly. People in dire situations fall prey to con artists and scams. Family, society and peer pressure are also liable sometimes to make someone feel desperate in low times. But think for yourself, no matter how much life tests you, have patience. With patience and persistence, you can change your fate for the better. Drugs and alcohol also provoke bad judgment, so avoid these as well.

One good example is- suppose, you have recently broken up from a long relationship and feel very lonely. Your family and friends are asking you to find someone as soon as possible and you are looking for another partner from a revengeful perspective. Take your time instead. Don’t get into another relationship out of desperation. It will be broken sooner than the last one. Get on a long term commitment when you think you’ve found the right person and you think you are ready. Until then, wait.

3. When you are super excited and happy:

People tend to overestimate their abilities and tend to make big promises when they are super happy and excited. Your dark days are finally over and you are thankful for those people that have been next to you through this time. While you do want to give it back, remember that promises are often broken but attempts become rather successful.

One good example can be- If you have gone through some financial crisis in the recent past and now are financially stable, do not take up a higher standard of life right away and don’t promise-making big donations that you cannot keep up. Learn from your past experience and be frugal. Save money for a better future. And do help back those who have helped you but do what is affordable for you.

Moral: Patience is the key.

So I will write a different article on how to make good decisions. Stay tuned and share this article if you have enjoyed it.

Edit: I have already posted:

Life Hack Tips: HOW To Make Good Decisions (By Tasnia Ponkti)

Life Hack Tips: Task Management & Productivity (from a lazy person’s guide)

I am not calling anyone out lazy but I am simply sharing my own experience as a lazy person. I have finished school and have a full time job as an engineer now. My image among my peers and co-workers is portrayed as a hardworking and disciplined person. Disciplined, organized and lazy they don’t seem to fit in the same sentence, do they? But I am originally lazy, yet at the same time have a competitive nature. The competition is not with someone else but rather with myself. There is another thing that works behind that competitive mentality and that is called-anxiety, fear of screwing things up. Now that is a whole different topic, which I will touch another day. Because of my competitive mind, I push myself to be pro-active and a go-getter. I haven’t reached perfection at every level but have made a lot of progress following my own tricks in the past few years.

In my own experience, the number one rule of success in life is called “persistence & perseverance”. In an age of social media, our biggest challenge is to stay on top of our goals without getting distracted. How many of you have thought that, when you get home you will study a bit more about certain topics or get certain things done, yet end up wasting time surfing through Facebook wall, Instagram feed and YouTube videos? Well, I am no exception. I still do that. And I have my own fair share of days when I get pretty much wasted without getting much done. I also have days when I am a peak performer. On those days not only I get most of my things done, sometimes I do even more than I planned.

These are the simple steps that I take.

1. Make a To-Do List:

I know some of you will say you have tried that and it doesn’t quite work for you, you wanna go with the flow blah blah. But it is important to prioritize work specially when you are juggling through multiple tasks. You can go fancy by using alarms, event reminders, to-do-list on your phone etc. But I simply write my things down with a pen on a notebook. Writing with hands does something to me, It helps me remember my tasks. As if I am stacking those list in my brain instead of in the notebook. I don’t even have to carry my notebook with me for the day, I remember it anyway after brainstorming and writing them down. I think that should be the goal. My mom makes a grocery list, forgets to bring it to the store and ends up buying more stuff than she listed while missing some important ingredients. LOL. So your goal is to remember your tasks, no matter how you do it. I make a rough weekly plan and also specific daily plans as well as a monthly plan for paying bills on time. Checking things off from the list as I get them done is very fulfilling to me. I divide a big task into smaller chunks and prioritize them. Make “sorting emails” an important part of your list whether it is work email or your other emails. Checking emails and replying promptly helps you get an idea of the work, event or correspondence that you will follow to keep up.

2. Stick to your plan:

Half of doing is believing that you can.

We have all probably made plans but sticking to the plan is the biggest challenge. Read the written list in between your down time to keep yourself on track. Make or read a list and try if you can back to your leisure. I don’t know about you, but it is almost like some alarm clocks start ticking in my head from the moment I make up my mind about getting something done. And I cannot relax in the same way after that. I do use alarms and reminder occasionally for big events. I am big about finishing things before deadline. I also reward myself in between tasks-whether it is food or snack, stretching, walking, checking on phones or listening to some music etc.

I must emphasize, please do not keep changing your plan just because it was hard for you to keep up with it the first time. Stick to it, make smaller flexible changes as you need and learn though your trials and errors. Learning to write computer programming? Playing piano? No matter how bad you are at first, stick to your plan and keep a track of your progress. The key behind success is steady progress. I see it quite often among highly intelligent people juggling through ideas and changing them way too quickly which ends up with no result.

3. Stay away from social media while you are at your work:

Now I am blessed because I cannot take any phone or outside devices to my labs or main work premises and our usage of internet is limited to work related email and research. Because I don’t have any choice of checking on my Facebook wall, Quora or Instagram feed, I use the time very efficiently at work. Without those distraction we tend to get things done faster. So if your work place is not like mine then turn off your phone/put it on silent mode or deactivate your social media accounts while you are in some serious business. Deactivate all phone notifications. Or just better if you don’t have any social media account to begin with. Sounds a bit archaic but if that makes you more productive then go for it. I do use social media in my advantage, to keep up with the updates, to keep in touch but try to control the over-usage.

4. Keep a diary:

You can keep a to do list and diary all in the same notebook or you can separate it by categories. One for work and one for home. If you are keeping a diary at work then refrain from writing too much personal details. The idea is to keep a track of the task progress in your own words.If you are multi/bi-lingual, working in an English speaking country, you can write in your own native language. I personally find writing diaries in my own language very therapeutic. At home I write diaries to vent but still refrain using too much personal details and names. As long as I understand what I write is fine for me. I write down important details and events that took place that day and I also write down possible outcome of a future event (!). I know it might sound interesting but even though sometimes things don’t go exactly as I planned, it makes me mentally prepared for the worse. For example, If I write I won’t lose temper in a certain ongoing stressful situation, I do see myself keeping a calm demeanor throughout the day.

4. Other things you can do to be more productive

Getting rid of stress is very important to be productive. Although I am not very religious, I pray to de-stress. No matter what religion you follow (or don’t follow anything), take some time to do some prayers or meditation everyday. Spend some quiet time with your self. Shut those chatter and noises in your head. The simple rule to relax your brain is, if in the back of your head you are thinking about some possible (worse) outcome of an imaginary situation, don’t follow through. simply change your mind from it. Or just write it down in your diary-what is bothering you.

I do travel, take a walk by the beach (I live in San Diego), take pictures, enjoy fine dining, like to cook, like to dress well, get a massage, read a book, write etc. Coffee is important to me. It keeps me going. Although I have skipped breakfast in the past (which is very bad), now-a-days I take the time to eat something healthy in the morning. Usually few hours in the morning are pick hours to be most productive. So when you have a breakfast, not only you feel more energetic during that time, you also end up eating less at lunch. I am trying to get into a routine of exercising. I do walk regularly. If it is hard for you to fall asleep at night faster, I would suggest finish dinner by 6 pm, do a bit of exercise, take a quick shower, write few lines or read few pages of a book, it should be enough to make you tired and go to sleep. Proper sleep and diet is important. I did not always have a sound sleep and proper diet during my hectic college years. But these are pretty staple to stay energetic and active.

Now-a-days I don’t get much time to draw pictures but I used to spend down time in creative art before. Now-a-days I read about technologies or do some side gig in my down time. If you have some creative hobbies, keep up with it on the side. Have a pet! I I love puppies and kittens. Currently I don’t have a pet but I spent times with my siblings’ pets a lot. Having pets are very relaxing. Some people make a bed or clean table to de-stress. It does not work for me but it might work for you.

Share in the comment if you have more exciting ideas or tips to stay focused on your daily goals.

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