The Thought of The Night- “Revenge Is Self-Consuming”
12:51 am (EST)
It is past my usual bedtime.
It’s been really long since I have written something on this “thought of the night” series on my WordPress blog. The last time I had written something like this blog post was back in 2017. It goes to show that I lack consistency in my hobbies.
Hobbies are for relaxation and unwinding ourselves in leisure, but still, a bit of consistency goes a long way I think.
Today I will talk about how I felt vengeful at certain times in the past, but life kept happening and I kept moving forward instead. And I am so glad that I did (move forward).
Yes in the grand scheme of things moving forward and trying to live better or do better is the best thing you can do.
I know, I know- this sounds cliche and I have heard this typical suggestion from friends and family whenever I was in some deep sh*t and needed some uplifting.
Today I am not trying to write some of those age-old cliche lectures on how karma is a b*tch and time heals everything. What goes around, comes around… Blah blah!
Karma is true, though, and time heals most things (well it puts certain painful memories in some locked compartments in our mind) but not everything.
But for me not trying to get even with the people who either tried to harm me or got in my way to achieve something, was not about karma. Neither were they about my feelings. Although my wounds are still there, being the pragmatic person I am, I always let my head lead me at the end.
I did the mental math and played different scenarios in my head, and in most cases, it just seemed counterproductive to get back at people who were against me. The amount of energy one needs to take to plan revenge, can be used to transcend that situation by moving forward quickly and effectively. Besides, one needs to look back and live in the past to take revenge, whereas I like my future potential more.
So revenge is self-consuming. Also, because it has the potential to add more uncertainties and more risks to already existing miseries.
Yes, there are however severe situations in life where getting back at enemies with effective steps is important. Seeking justice for oneself and others is oftentimes a moral duty.
Otherwise, the daily narcissists, sociopaths, passive aggressors, bullies, parasitic leeches, soul-sucking vultures should be avoided and ignored at all costs.
A new job comes after a job loss, and good health (sometimes) comes after bad ones, good fortune comes after the financial crisis, a good relationship mends a broken heart. And even if people die, they just die, full stop. Perhaps there is a new beginning after death as well.
None of these are the end of anything. Perhaps destroying or ending enemies is not necessarily the goal of taking revenge.
The best revenge is when you make the negative people in your life gradually irrelevant like they don’t matter- neither to you nor to society.
The first step of that is, effectively seeking justice (if it is possible) and doing better things than what has been damaged. And the second is to remove these individuals from your life. Sometimes some of these people are your closed ones. It is irresponsible to remove them or ignore them completely from your life. But at least keep a respectable distance and even if you are giving them any entry back into your life, don’t be the same as you were before. Make them realize that what you have been through and as a result your current equation with them is the updated version from past mistakes.
People who harm you, don’t harm them back, but you should openly and genuinely talk about your experience so others know what you are going through. Sometimes this is not possible, at least immediately, because narcissistic sociopaths are very big about their reputations. But eventually, other people need to learn about them, words should be spread out so that, more people don’t become victims of such aggressors
Anyway, that’s it for today…
Hopefully, I will bring a new topic for another day.